friends...
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"For in all adversity of fortune the worst sort of misery is to have been happy."
Boethius
While idling wandering through wikispace, I came across this word, compersion. Don't bother looking in the dictionary or checking your spellchecker it's not there but there is an entry on it in Wikipedia and you can actually find in google. Apparently it's an emotion. When I found this out, I was like wow, I thought I new of all the possible emotions as I think I've experienced them all at one point or another but no this was something completely new to me.
Then again, I suppose you shouldn't dis something you've never experienced too much as you don't have a point of reference. Albeit this, the question is not whether compersion is an enjoyable emotion, but whether it actualy is an emotion to begin with. My opinion is that it's actually a form voyeurism than an actual true to life emotion. The reason I say this is because emotions are like hard-wired programming in the brain that developed over the eons to ensure survival of the species. You feel love, because as a male, you want to propogate your genetic inheritance and as a female, you want to nurture the next generation. The notion of romantic love is actually a reasonably new creation (look it up). So how does watching a loved one receive love from another help our species progress? With this opinion I might be viewed as a caveman by some but hey, it's a point of view.
Eitherways, I'd be more than willing to hear what anyone else thinks about it and would definitely enjoy the ensuing banter...
CompersionI was like what? Apparently this is what you feel when you watch the joy on a loved one's (loved one as in spouse or partner, not cousin or brother) face while being loved by another. It's supposedly an empathic form of pleasure experienced by polyamourous groups. Well, call me an illiberal old conservative, but if I so much as saw someone else 'loving' my partner I'd definitely get all 'frublly' on his face and show him what it feels like to be kicked in the compersions. Fair enough, I suppose this is taking the good old 'group hug' to another level and there would be people who could exist in such a relation(err..ship/ships?) but I think the average male would be much to territorial to stay happy sharing his partner(s) especially if theres a deep-routed emotions involved. I suppose this gets blurred if EVERYBODY wants to get down with one another, regardless of gender but then I don't think it's 'love' anymore, it would be more lust.
Compersion is love manifested when a person takes joy in his or her loved one's happiness with another person. Also known as frubbly.
Then again, I suppose you shouldn't dis something you've never experienced too much as you don't have a point of reference. Albeit this, the question is not whether compersion is an enjoyable emotion, but whether it actualy is an emotion to begin with. My opinion is that it's actually a form voyeurism than an actual true to life emotion. The reason I say this is because emotions are like hard-wired programming in the brain that developed over the eons to ensure survival of the species. You feel love, because as a male, you want to propogate your genetic inheritance and as a female, you want to nurture the next generation. The notion of romantic love is actually a reasonably new creation (look it up). So how does watching a loved one receive love from another help our species progress? With this opinion I might be viewed as a caveman by some but hey, it's a point of view.
Eitherways, I'd be more than willing to hear what anyone else thinks about it and would definitely enjoy the ensuing banter...
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."Aristotle
hi·a·tus Audio pronunciation of "hiatus" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (h-
t
s)
n. pl. hi·a·tus·es or hiatus1. A gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break: “We are likely to be disconcerted by... hiatuses of thought” (Edmund Wilson).
2. Linguistics. A slight pause that occurs when two immediately adjacent vowels in consecutive syllables are pronounced, as in reality and naive.
3. Anatomy. A separation, aperture, fissure, or short passage in an organ or body part.
Exactly 2 months to this date has passed sinced my semi-intentional forced hiatus from my blog... don't ask me for any specific reasons why I haven't updated or why I chose the 28th of April to cease posting and the 28th of this month, June, to start a new. It could be that this was the date (28th April) that the Italian Wold War II dictator, Mussolini, was hung in 1945 or that this was the the date of the first FA cup final in Wembley way back in 1910. Well actually, I'm not a Mussolini fan and neither do i watch football but it is interesting to now that Botany Bay was discovered by Captain Cook way back in 1770 thus he discovered Australia (if I'm not mistaken)....
Why reposting on this date 28th June, well one good reason was that the Treaty of Versailles was signed in Paris (huh?) thus officially ending World War I in 1919 or that in 1682 Champagne was invented by the Benedictine Monk Dom Perignon in Hautevilliers Abbey. Aside from that, in 1956 the Hit Musical The King and I, wet on general release i the states and jumping forward 30 years ad back to Wembley, Wham plays their final concert in 1986. I wonder if there last number was, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go...
This and much more would be great reasons to stop posting and start up again, but well, the real reason was that wayback in April on the 29th, the connection was laggy so I couldn't post, then the next day i forgot and, well here I am... Anyway, I promise to post at least 3 times week now, promise.... Aside from that, this past few months have truly been eventful. My house got invaded by termites (a well deserving tale to tell of which I will), I got engaged (yay for me! or should I say, "Yay for WE!"), and I finally, finally, fially, QUIT SMOKING!
Why reposting on this date 28th June, well one good reason was that the Treaty of Versailles was signed in Paris (huh?) thus officially ending World War I in 1919 or that in 1682 Champagne was invented by the Benedictine Monk Dom Perignon in Hautevilliers Abbey. Aside from that, in 1956 the Hit Musical The King and I, wet on general release i the states and jumping forward 30 years ad back to Wembley, Wham plays their final concert in 1986. I wonder if there last number was, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go...
This and much more would be great reasons to stop posting and start up again, but well, the real reason was that wayback in April on the 29th, the connection was laggy so I couldn't post, then the next day i forgot and, well here I am... Anyway, I promise to post at least 3 times week now, promise.... Aside from that, this past few months have truly been eventful. My house got invaded by termites (a well deserving tale to tell of which I will), I got engaged (yay for me! or should I say, "Yay for WE!"), and I finally, finally, fially, QUIT SMOKING!
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Terry Pratchett
Man I can't believe it's friday already...
Im surprised, and at the same time quiet pleased at the fact. It was a weird week I have to say, while eduring it it felt like it'll never end, but now that its over, in restrospect, it felt like it took only a blink of an eye. One bloody long wink.
This week i felt sat on, spat on, used as a carpet, stressed, told I'm useless, told I'm wonderful (sometimes by the same people, sometimes at the same time!), patted on the back, hit squarely in the face, delighted, disgusted, amazed, dazed and whole other plethora of different emotions.
I'm not sure I mentioned this in my previous blog, but I was conned into becoming a launch manager for a new product trial. It was a case of, Oh I can't make it to this meeting, could you go and represent me please? Just tell me what its about and I'll take it from there." And lo! i suddenly becomer responsible for the success and failure of it. Luckily, all the problems and mistakes were internally and not out in the open with the press and public, so to everyone else it was an astouding success.
Coincidentally, I've taken leave for the whole of next week, I applied for it and it was approved in January, way before all of this. This is a good thing cuz, well, I'm exausted, i wanna lay back, chil out, and finally do my laundry....
Im surprised, and at the same time quiet pleased at the fact. It was a weird week I have to say, while eduring it it felt like it'll never end, but now that its over, in restrospect, it felt like it took only a blink of an eye. One bloody long wink.
This week i felt sat on, spat on, used as a carpet, stressed, told I'm useless, told I'm wonderful (sometimes by the same people, sometimes at the same time!), patted on the back, hit squarely in the face, delighted, disgusted, amazed, dazed and whole other plethora of different emotions.
I'm not sure I mentioned this in my previous blog, but I was conned into becoming a launch manager for a new product trial. It was a case of, Oh I can't make it to this meeting, could you go and represent me please? Just tell me what its about and I'll take it from there." And lo! i suddenly becomer responsible for the success and failure of it. Luckily, all the problems and mistakes were internally and not out in the open with the press and public, so to everyone else it was an astouding success.
Coincidentally, I've taken leave for the whole of next week, I applied for it and it was approved in January, way before all of this. This is a good thing cuz, well, I'm exausted, i wanna lay back, chil out, and finally do my laundry....
You could download information directly into your head from you computer? Would that mean that you'd need to update your brain with anti-virus software and a firewall?
Wow, yesterday I smoke an entire pack of 10's... heheh, shit, well I didn't wear the patch... I will today so hopefully won't smoke so much....
"It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours."
Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972), in Observer, April 13, 1958
DO's
do stuff you enjoy,
do stuff you won't regret later,
do make friends along the way,
do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself.
Don'ts
don't give a shit about what others think about you,
don't worry about things that don't concern you,
don't do stuff that'll harm you, anyone or anything,
don't be afraid.
Hi there little kid, how you doin' tiger? Aw, your mommy brought you to the office and left you all alone? Oh she asked that clerk to look after you is it? Since he's not here right now, you thought it would be great fun to throw my files all over the floor didn't you? You’re looking like you’re having a lot of fun with those paper clips you made into a necklace, oh you got them from drawer, so that's where they all went you little ole devil you! Why yes that picture of a dragon really look’s fitting on my table, it looks so real and alive. White liquid paper on wood really makes for a good dragon. It’s my fault anyway for leaving my desk unattended during lunch time; it was so irresponsible of me. Here, tell you what, take this dollar and go buy yourself and your mom an ice cream, hell here take my wallet if that’ll keep you quite while I try to write that report I need to submit in an hour. It does seem like so much fun running around in the office with a paper bag over your head screaming at the top of your lungs. Oh to be young again... So why don't you take all my money, go outside, find another little friend and go play HIDE-AND-GO-FUCK YOURSELF!
*I actually like little kids, you only have to look at the state of my desk to understand my animosity…. Hey at least I’m just writing a blog rather than giving the kid a good kick in the behind right? ;-p
*I actually like little kids, you only have to look at the state of my desk to understand my animosity…. Hey at least I’m just writing a blog rather than giving the kid a good kick in the behind right? ;-p
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
Emo Phillips
Today was my first day in what i hope to be many... To be frank i did cheat a little bit, had 3 sticks the whole day. I realise I shouldn't smoke while wearing them darn patches but hey, was a moment or two of weakness... I don't consider it to be a failure though, 3 sticks is nothing compared to my previous 25+ a day... Tomorrow i'll aim for 3 again....
...pressure
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Imagine a single word that you say, or for that matter, NOT say, may cause your bank to lose a major partership such as Visa or Mastercard. Imagine a little glitch in a software that's under your direct supervision could cause a loss of millions of hard currency for the bank. Imagine a simple mispelling in an agreement you drafted, could have caused tens of thousands of people to fall into abject poverty. Imagine running a project that has the entire Bank's good name at stake internationally, with no budget, no sponsorship, no manpower, but management expects you to carry it forward without complaint. Imagine management's expectations is that you sell 100,000 accounts in 9 months when they've only sold 20,000 in the past 3 years and your career rests on it. Imagine all this while working in the largest bank in the country, screaming and yelling to make yourself noticed in a sea of people. To top it all off, imagine trying to do all this AND quit smoking. That was me last week, and this week looks just as.... Interesting.....
pressure...
Welcome to the rat race...
pressure...
"One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered."Michael J. Fox (1961 - ), in "Saving Milly" by Morton Kondrake
"He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign."
Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)
I gotta keep this short n sweet, wanna hit the sack before the clock tolls two...
I've decided yet again to try quittig smoking... As always, I wanna use this 'space' i got as a sounding board...
I know I've tried many times to quit, but a I always say theres no harm in trying, again, and again, and again.... Eitherway's i got nothing to lose accept money i'd be wasting on patches if i don't quit. So wish me luck as I head off once again, down vey familiar territory. Only this time I hope I make the right turn, instead of the wrong one.
Night2 all....
I've decided yet again to try quittig smoking... As always, I wanna use this 'space' i got as a sounding board...
I know I've tried many times to quit, but a I always say theres no harm in trying, again, and again, and again.... Eitherway's i got nothing to lose accept money i'd be wasting on patches if i don't quit. So wish me luck as I head off once again, down vey familiar territory. Only this time I hope I make the right turn, instead of the wrong one.
Night2 all....
"The time for logic and calm discussion has passed. Now is the time for constant bickering!"
- Overheard during a meeting
The other day I called up tech support over at the office. I usually try not to as most of the time it's an aggravating experience. You see over at the bank we have to types of offices who usually man the phones; 1) The Irratating Chirpy Junior, or 2) The Gnarlled Caustic Senior.
Subject 1 usually just started adis still new on the job. she's been through the highly intensive introductory course, she's revved up, highly positive, happy and probably still uses the cd-rom tray to hold her coffee cup with. You usually get hold of her when you have something urgent peding and your machies insists on cocking-up on you. You're angry, aggravated and need a good solution fast ad the last thing you want to hear on the other end of the horn is a chirpy, bubbly voice going,
a) Rebooting your comp, or
b) Reinstalling the offending program
Answer 1) usually doesn't remedy the problem, whereas answer 2) usually takes anything from 3 weeks to the end of time (whichever comes later) being that in a behemoth of a corporation, getting tech people to go any where else in the building aside from their floor usually requires 5 documents signed in triplicate, a mandate from the department head and a heart attack. Notice though that half the time she will not have any idea what your problem is and won't have a decent solution readily at hand.
The altenative tech-sup you get though (the Gnarlled Veteran) usually answers the phone when you have a simple, mundane question to ask. One that the Chirpy Junior should have been able to answer. This salty old dog mostly grunts at you at makes you feel like you caused him a great discomfort by calling. The other day I got the Gnarlled Vet. I wanted to find out what the status was on my recent application for a new computer. A completely legitimate question to call up Tech Sup about. The conversation went like this:
Subject 1 usually just started adis still new on the job. she's been through the highly intensive introductory course, she's revved up, highly positive, happy and probably still uses the cd-rom tray to hold her coffee cup with. You usually get hold of her when you have something urgent peding and your machies insists on cocking-up on you. You're angry, aggravated and need a good solution fast ad the last thing you want to hear on the other end of the horn is a chirpy, bubbly voice going,
"Hello, good morning, you've reached xxxx tech support. Our goal is to give you a solution on demand! Bla bla bla speaking, how can I help you?"at which point you grunt out you problem. "
Yeah hi, I've got this error message on Lotus Notes. It says xxxxx and told me to call tech support. I was in of e-mailing a client and it popped up. I can't open anything else up"Her great solution usually involves:
a) Rebooting your comp, or
b) Reinstalling the offending program
Answer 1) usually doesn't remedy the problem, whereas answer 2) usually takes anything from 3 weeks to the end of time (whichever comes later) being that in a behemoth of a corporation, getting tech people to go any where else in the building aside from their floor usually requires 5 documents signed in triplicate, a mandate from the department head and a heart attack. Notice though that half the time she will not have any idea what your problem is and won't have a decent solution readily at hand.
The altenative tech-sup you get though (the Gnarlled Veteran) usually answers the phone when you have a simple, mundane question to ask. One that the Chirpy Junior should have been able to answer. This salty old dog mostly grunts at you at makes you feel like you caused him a great discomfort by calling. The other day I got the Gnarlled Vet. I wanted to find out what the status was on my recent application for a new computer. A completely legitimate question to call up Tech Sup about. The conversation went like this:
beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep....click!Hello.
Hi, is that Tech Support?
Yes, what is it?
This is U.P. from xxxxx. I recently applied for a new computer, i was wondering what the status was on it?
What?!?
Erm, I said I applied for a new comp. My ID is xxxxxxx, just wanted to know if you've received my application.
Application? No, you need to come to the xxth Floor an pick up the form yourself.
No, no I already sent in the form. I was just wondering what the status is?
You sent in the form already? Well wait la, we'll get to you when we can!
But when I passed you all the form i was told to call this number if I wanted to know the status?
Well the status is pending la! I don't have all day you know. We'll call you when we're ready! thank you for calling, good bye!
But-er-a...
-click-
Why is it that at the end of the money, we always have a little bit of month left?
Out of sheer boedom I googled my name t see what would come up beig that it was quite unorthodox in the way it was spelt (well, at least in the english speakingworld). What I found was that it is a rather common name in Scandinavia (well d'uh!) and it had a very fitting meaning attached to it, very fitting indeed in my opinion. Well I'm about to do the unbelievable and actually admit my name, real name that is. Well, it's not like I have that many frequent visitors to my blog so what the hell... My first name is Niklas...What's interesting though is that my name means "Victory of the People" and I find that's quite an apt meaning looking at my socio-political stand point (heheh). To be honest I'm quite happy with the meaning and quite relieved that it didn't have a dull meaning or somethig that went against the way that I think...
"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true."
Robert Wilensky, speech at a 1996 conference
I frequently find myself wondering abut the purpose of life.
After that i find myself wondering why I've been wasting my time wondering about what the purpose of life is. Truth is, my belief is that there is no one preordained purpose, it's more of a kind of mish-mash of stuff, only loosely connected in the minds eye. We just don't have a preset purpose, which kind of sucks because if we don't have one that means we're not the numero uno most important inhabitants of the Universe. The Universe just doesn't care about us, we could all just disappear one day, vanish, and the Universe would carry on exactly the same. Actually, it's not that it doesn't care, it's that it cannot care. The point I'm trying to make here is that well, it's up to you to decide what your purpose is, because nobody else has. If you go wandering around life waiting for someone to go, "Dude, do this and your life will have true meaning.", you'll wander forever. Actually, someone most likely will come along and tell you what that special something is but ask yourself this before you go running off believing him/her, "How the hell does he/she know what it is?". So go out there, decide what your purpose is and just do it. Quit whinging cuz nobody wants to hear it, and seriously nobody really cares. Go find yourself, if you give yourself half a chance, you will. Your purpose is most likely right before your eyes.
The question I'm pondering right now though, is why the hell am i feeling so philosophical at 1 am in the morning and what does jello have to do with any of this?
The question I'm pondering right now though, is why the hell am i feeling so philosophical at 1 am in the morning and what does jello have to do with any of this?
"Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on."
Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
Arg!HR reached its grimy lil hands, into its deep bucket of names and pulled mine! shit i hate going on training! Well, actually I don't. I'm usually quite positive about shit like this as I do understand these little training escapades means i get to go out of the office and learn stuff. Howeve, this 'training' couldn't come at a wrse possible time. I got a new product trial which i gotta launch come next week + all the usual paper work a bank needs to keep it running (remember, the Pile Under the Desk!) that comes around financial year end + I'm gonna be audited soon. All this equals = Tons of Crap That Needs Done, TCTND for short (pronounced tek-tend) that can't be done because half the week is blown out of the water what with my enrollment into "Towards Supervisory Excellence".It's not like I've not done enough training this year, I have. Ah well, can't blame HR, their just 'following procedure' and their just 'trying to do their job'.
Eitherway, it's been quite a learning experience so far. Straight of the bat today, it being the first day of a three day course, I learnt that I could think up over thirty physical things that are round in 3 minutes. I was kinda baffled though when they told me a DVD is a physical thing where as a CD-ROM is not. Apparently a CD-ROM is a kind of software, so it's not a tangible thing but an intangible thing. Wow, so all this while those silvery circular things i keep sticking into my computer doesn't exist, that must mean i must have been hallucinating all this while. I blame it all on the nonsense i did back in college fucking with my head again. What I'd like to know though, is what thinking up different thingies that are round has to do with being a supervisor. I guess it so that I can impress my staff with the ammount of 'useful' information i have in my head. The next time one of them comes asking me, "U.P. for the life of me i can't think of anything that's round. Can you help me?" I'll be able to lean back with a big grin on my face and patronisingly say, "Well that's why I'm your supervisor. Why not try DVD, or globe or even.... Basket Ball?" then they'll be like all, "oh thank you U.P. your so smart!" yeah right, what ever. I can clearly see now how it'll benefit my career.
Also during one of their sessions, they told us that only men could think logically and women could only feel with their hearts, them being all touchy feely and shit. Us men well, we're all just cold steely logic you see. Thats why we need a girl, so that they'll stop us from turning into... Dalek MenMachines from the planet Zargon! Which by the way, is also round, it being a planet and all you see. It's all falling into place now, all those years of my then signifigant others moaning about me being insensitive. The answer was right infront of my face! It's because, deep down beneath my breast, beats the heart of truly logical machine. I suppose I should walk around now waving my hands screaming lines like "Does not compute! Does not compute!" every time a woman tells me something I don't understand. Either that or I'm like a Vulcan, I suppose that explains my slightly pointy ears.
Anyway, it's late and I can't stay up any longer. Gotta go for training tomorrow. It would be illogical for me to not sleep as that just would not... compute. So I'll go to my bed, which isn't round, aand lay my head on my pillow to slowly digest all of todays much useful learning. Thirsty though so i'm gonna grab a glass of water which by the way, looks round if you like stand over it. So take care now, sleep well, and live long and prosper...
Anyway, it's late and I can't stay up any longer. Gotta go for training tomorrow. It would be illogical for me to not sleep as that just would not... compute. So I'll go to my bed, which isn't round, aand lay my head on my pillow to slowly digest all of todays much useful learning. Thirsty though so i'm gonna grab a glass of water which by the way, looks round if you like stand over it. So take care now, sleep well, and live long and prosper...
Dear Alcohol,
Thanks a lot. Last night I dreamt I was a telemarketer again. Selling virtual sex acts to middle-class people of every race and sex. Over the phone. Thanks a lot.
And apparently in the dream, I'd been fired from this job before. Recently. However, call volume was irregularly high and vice versa. So they took me back. Tentatively.
On the computer screen was a huge panel of buttons, each one an audio sex-act recording of a hot woman doing it. For example, top left was the sound of her kissing and moaning. The next one played the sound of licking various body parts. And each progressed from there until eventually you cycled through hand jobs, blow jobs, all out doing it, then finally the really weird ones involving animals and urination. My occupation was to click the mouse on whichever button would keep the client on the line. Because, of course, the goal was to get them to pay five or six bucks a minute to listen to this stuff.
So I'd dial up a random person whose credit-card companies had sold us his data, and the client would answer, "Hello?" Then I'd have to click the first button. No talking from me now, just clicking buttons that, like I said, were audio cuts of women in sexual pleasure. Then the client would try to say no thanks or hang up, but that's when I'd hit them with the bestiality recordings to hook them in. But we weren't supposed to go all out right up front. We had to learn to entice them in. We had to prime the pump, as in a seductive mating dance that occurs in nature. And we were only supposed to hit the bestiality or murder-sex buttons as a last ditch effort to keep them on the line. And I quickly learned that like most jobs, it was a delicate art, not a science.
Unfortunately though, I kept hitting the most messed-up buttons too soon, hopefully not as too much of a metaphor for my reality behavior. For example, when I hit the urination-fetish button on this very nice lady who was trying to be helpful, everybody in the telemarketing office laughed really hard at me for so long. The supervisor came over and put her hand on my shoulder and said, "I think that's enough."
So they transferred me to another department where we sold recordings of mother's voices saying soothing things to babies. I know, I couldn't believe it either. But we actually did call little babies, and we played recorded mother's voices to them for six bucks a minute. There were not as many buttons on these computer screens, though. There were only eight. They were in order: [I am your mother], [I am here for you], [Have some milk], [You are a good baby], [You are never going to die], [Hush little baby don't say a word], [I have murdered your father], and the last one, which I am never going to repeat. Because it would blow your mind, and you would think I was a psychopath for dreaming of such a button.
Anyway alcohol, I thought I'd tell you this. Mainly so you could know for what you are responsible. And if I EVER have another dream that ends with something that fucked up, I am going to kill you personally. And if idle threats by me are not enough to discourage you, well you're still going to have to try MUCH harder than some Psychology 101 Oedipus mind-trick to make me lose it, you unoriginal archetype-parroting FUCK.
Your friend.
P.S. —See you later tonight, homie.
*Found this gem on the 'net, thought it was hilarious so just wanted to share it with u all....
Thanks a lot. Last night I dreamt I was a telemarketer again. Selling virtual sex acts to middle-class people of every race and sex. Over the phone. Thanks a lot.
And apparently in the dream, I'd been fired from this job before. Recently. However, call volume was irregularly high and vice versa. So they took me back. Tentatively.
On the computer screen was a huge panel of buttons, each one an audio sex-act recording of a hot woman doing it. For example, top left was the sound of her kissing and moaning. The next one played the sound of licking various body parts. And each progressed from there until eventually you cycled through hand jobs, blow jobs, all out doing it, then finally the really weird ones involving animals and urination. My occupation was to click the mouse on whichever button would keep the client on the line. Because, of course, the goal was to get them to pay five or six bucks a minute to listen to this stuff.
So I'd dial up a random person whose credit-card companies had sold us his data, and the client would answer, "Hello?" Then I'd have to click the first button. No talking from me now, just clicking buttons that, like I said, were audio cuts of women in sexual pleasure. Then the client would try to say no thanks or hang up, but that's when I'd hit them with the bestiality recordings to hook them in. But we weren't supposed to go all out right up front. We had to learn to entice them in. We had to prime the pump, as in a seductive mating dance that occurs in nature. And we were only supposed to hit the bestiality or murder-sex buttons as a last ditch effort to keep them on the line. And I quickly learned that like most jobs, it was a delicate art, not a science.
Unfortunately though, I kept hitting the most messed-up buttons too soon, hopefully not as too much of a metaphor for my reality behavior. For example, when I hit the urination-fetish button on this very nice lady who was trying to be helpful, everybody in the telemarketing office laughed really hard at me for so long. The supervisor came over and put her hand on my shoulder and said, "I think that's enough."
So they transferred me to another department where we sold recordings of mother's voices saying soothing things to babies. I know, I couldn't believe it either. But we actually did call little babies, and we played recorded mother's voices to them for six bucks a minute. There were not as many buttons on these computer screens, though. There were only eight. They were in order: [I am your mother], [I am here for you], [Have some milk], [You are a good baby], [You are never going to die], [Hush little baby don't say a word], [I have murdered your father], and the last one, which I am never going to repeat. Because it would blow your mind, and you would think I was a psychopath for dreaming of such a button.
Anyway alcohol, I thought I'd tell you this. Mainly so you could know for what you are responsible. And if I EVER have another dream that ends with something that fucked up, I am going to kill you personally. And if idle threats by me are not enough to discourage you, well you're still going to have to try MUCH harder than some Psychology 101 Oedipus mind-trick to make me lose it, you unoriginal archetype-parroting FUCK.
Your friend.
P.S. —See you later tonight, homie.
*Found this gem on the 'net, thought it was hilarious so just wanted to share it with u all....
"Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it."
Max Frisch
My handphone got stolen, so I bought a new one.What can I say, the little techno-junkie that I am, I went and got one of the more expensive models in the market. It's sleek, it's slim, it's tiny, it's stylish, and hell, it's got a sliding keyboard! Drool...
Seriously though, the whole reason I bought the damn thing was for the sliding keyboard. The Dopod 838 does its big brother, the Dopod P900, proud having all it's features minus the 3G stuff, in a much smaller format.
It doesn't have the fastest processor around, what with it packing a OMAP 850 chip with a measly 195MHz of err, horses? It makes up for this deficiency by having 128MB's of Flash Ram on board plus a further 64MB's of RAM. If you were a car aficionado you'd say that what it lacks in horsepower, it makes up for in power to weight ratio. The downside though is that the OS is windows based, Windows Mobile 5, so I'm expecting it to hang and crash a lot. To give it credit though, this is Microsoft's latest Mobile OS so maybe they managed to iron out all the bugs the last version had. The upside is that since it is a Windows based OS, synching with my PC was dead easy, I just plugged it in and voila. Aside from that it came with both Bluetooth and WiFi connectivity. Also, it's got a 1.3 Megapixel camera, both for stills and video which it records in 3GP format, whatever that is.
Further more, with a deal that I got from my dealer, I got a 1 GB Mini SD-Card to boot! So right now as I'm typing out this wee little report I'm listening to the smooth, Cuban tunes of Ibrahim Ferrer which I uploaded from my Windows Media Player right o to the phone. Playback is excellent as the little headphone set has excellent sound. You can't, unfortunately, listen to your MP3's over a Bluetooth headset, but if you believe Dopod's web-site, they're working on it.
And yes, last but not least, the slidy keyboard. I don't know what it is, but a slidy keyboard adds that little je ne sais qua to a phone. O2 first embarked with a slidy keyboard with their highly successful O2 IIi, and it was then that I fell in love with the idea of a phone with a Qwerty keyboard. So far most incarnations of the Qwerty on phones has been a bulky affair, if it wasn't bulky it was ungainly. Dopod nailed it though with the 838, the phone's dimensions is barely larger than a standard Nokia, though a wee bit thick. The slidy keyboard does increase the phones Star Trek factor, that playing with makes you feel like you should be waving it around over stuff saying pseudo-scientific statements like, "there is a distinct increase in the gamma-photon fields sir, though if we use a double pulsed plasma binary manifold we should be able to decrease it." Ah yes, the phone makes me feel like Mr Spock every time I use it, so what more could you ask for?
Beam me up Scotty, and Nanu-Nanu.
"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."
Claud Cockburn (1904 - 1981)
...........If computers had feelings, you trying to turn them on at work may get you slapped with sexual harrasment...........
About a week ago, someone walked into my yard, got int my car and stole everything worth stealing from it; including my ashtray.
I guess they would've tried for my steeo as well but luckily the one I have is one of those inbuilt stereo's so that you have to take my entire dashboard off in order to get at it. The bastard even took the time to check what I had in the boot but unfortunately he didn't steal my laundry which if youve been eading my posts, you know Ive been driving aroud with it for the past few weeks). All this, while I was watching TV in the living room with my signifigant other, barely 20ft away from the car. If my windows wee open, we definitely would've seen the bugger.
Yes I did find it distubing that I lost some stuff (including a very, very expensive handphone) but more so that the arse was brave enough to do it full well knowing that we were so close to him. I was under the impression that my neighbourhood was a safe one, apparently I was quite wrong. Yes, I did leave my car unlocked, and my brother-in-law was quite vocal about the fact. I understand that doing so was just inviting trouble, but my car was parked in my porch and my garden is walled off. This bugger climbed the wall and wandered around my yard! I just have to ask how often do I have weirdos wandering around my yard in the middle of the night? Hell it wasn't that late even, barely 10pm.
It's a frightening thought that we have thieves in the neighberhood so brazen as to eter a persons property while the person is still there. What next, am I to expect being mugged on my way to work in the morning?
I guess they would've tried for my steeo as well but luckily the one I have is one of those inbuilt stereo's so that you have to take my entire dashboard off in order to get at it. The bastard even took the time to check what I had in the boot but unfortunately he didn't steal my laundry which if youve been eading my posts, you know Ive been driving aroud with it for the past few weeks). All this, while I was watching TV in the living room with my signifigant other, barely 20ft away from the car. If my windows wee open, we definitely would've seen the bugger.
Yes I did find it distubing that I lost some stuff (including a very, very expensive handphone) but more so that the arse was brave enough to do it full well knowing that we were so close to him. I was under the impression that my neighbourhood was a safe one, apparently I was quite wrong. Yes, I did leave my car unlocked, and my brother-in-law was quite vocal about the fact. I understand that doing so was just inviting trouble, but my car was parked in my porch and my garden is walled off. This bugger climbed the wall and wandered around my yard! I just have to ask how often do I have weirdos wandering around my yard in the middle of the night? Hell it wasn't that late even, barely 10pm.
It's a frightening thought that we have thieves in the neighberhood so brazen as to eter a persons property while the person is still there. What next, am I to expect being mugged on my way to work in the morning?
Cikgu Ros:
"Huruf ini sama dengan huruf Jim, huruf Jim matanya di tengah-tengah tetapi huruf ni matanya di atas"
Sudin:
"Aa.. Jim ini matanya di tengah-tengah, Jim ini mata di atas cikgu... Jin pakai toncet!"
-Pendekar Bujang Lapuk, 1959
Ramli:
"Berapa senang Beta punya hati, Betalah yang digelarkan Setan Aminurrashid"
Director:
"Cut...! Bukan setan, syaitan! Sultan!!"
-Seniman Bujang Lapuk, 1961
"Huruf ini sama dengan huruf Jim, huruf Jim matanya di tengah-tengah tetapi huruf ni matanya di atas"
Sudin:
"Aa.. Jim ini matanya di tengah-tengah, Jim ini mata di atas cikgu... Jin pakai toncet!"
-Pendekar Bujang Lapuk, 1959
--------
Ramli:
"Berapa senang Beta punya hati, Betalah yang digelarkan Setan Aminurrashid"
Director:
"Cut...! Bukan setan, syaitan! Sultan!!"
-Seniman Bujang Lapuk, 1961
You know the sad thing is, that i never did manage to get around to doing my laundry. I've got a basket-full of wet clothing that's been just sitting there for the past few days and i've been driving around with a big black plastic bag full of laundry in my boot for the past 3 weeks. Shit, it looks like i gotta buy new under-wear tomorrow....
"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."Voltaire
......If time were to ever reverse and flow backwards, going to the toilet would be a truly disgusting affair......
Good Morning True Believers!
The company I'm working for is curretly going through a restructuring... Oooh... Scary words, re-struc-tu-ring aka downsizing aka upsizing etc etc, makes you feel like you really should have purchased that redundancy insurance when you had the chance... But no no, this is a REAL restructuring where people get moved about into different position, different departments, when once you were in customer service, suddenly you're a sys op (yeah right!). Well, we're going through the first few phases as yesterday management revealed our new org chart during our recent quartely cascade (don't worry, i'll give a quick phrase guide at the end of this piece).
When asked, "when will the new org chart be affective?" Our Great Leader replied, "Immediately!" There was a hush in the crowd which quickly gathered into sharp intake of breath. The crowd thought out in complete unison:
"What, you mean after this briefing, you've moved my desk into some strange unknown corner of the building on another floor!?!?"
"No, no, no, the changes are affective immediately but we'll implement them gradually." actual quote.
Now I don't know about you, but that last statement didn't make much sense. Taken literally, it's a conflicting sentence, it's like saying, "The weather today will be blisteringly hot throughout, so be prepared for snow." or "I feel like eating chicken today, so I guess I'll order the steak." Even if you forget the "immediately" part, it still doesn't make any sense. How can you implement a new organisational structure, with new departments and positions and implement it gradually? What, at some point in the next few months our company will have two structures? Half the work force won't have anyone to report to or be reported to? A total Management Now-answer that makes you stop and go, "What?" and by the time you reach the point of, "...hey, hang on, wait a minute..." the briefings over and eveyones shuffled out of the room.
Phraseology:
sys op : system operator; the slightly disturbed guy who's always in a big, winter jacket and lives in your server room.
cascade : When management calls everyone into a small room and pous information down their ears.
org chart : Organisational Chart; a map of your company's pecking order.
The company I'm working for is curretly going through a restructuring... Oooh... Scary words, re-struc-tu-ring aka downsizing aka upsizing etc etc, makes you feel like you really should have purchased that redundancy insurance when you had the chance... But no no, this is a REAL restructuring where people get moved about into different position, different departments, when once you were in customer service, suddenly you're a sys op (yeah right!). Well, we're going through the first few phases as yesterday management revealed our new org chart during our recent quartely cascade (don't worry, i'll give a quick phrase guide at the end of this piece).
When asked, "when will the new org chart be affective?" Our Great Leader replied, "Immediately!" There was a hush in the crowd which quickly gathered into sharp intake of breath. The crowd thought out in complete unison:
"What, you mean after this briefing, you've moved my desk into some strange unknown corner of the building on another floor!?!?"
"No, no, no, the changes are affective immediately but we'll implement them gradually." actual quote.
Now I don't know about you, but that last statement didn't make much sense. Taken literally, it's a conflicting sentence, it's like saying, "The weather today will be blisteringly hot throughout, so be prepared for snow." or "I feel like eating chicken today, so I guess I'll order the steak." Even if you forget the "immediately" part, it still doesn't make any sense. How can you implement a new organisational structure, with new departments and positions and implement it gradually? What, at some point in the next few months our company will have two structures? Half the work force won't have anyone to report to or be reported to? A total Management Now-answer that makes you stop and go, "What?" and by the time you reach the point of, "...hey, hang on, wait a minute..." the briefings over and eveyones shuffled out of the room.
Phraseology:
sys op : system operator; the slightly disturbed guy who's always in a big, winter jacket and lives in your server room.
cascade : When management calls everyone into a small room and pous information down their ears.
org chart : Organisational Chart; a map of your company's pecking order.
While surfing I came across this web-site, "Chifuti Hunting Safaris" and some thing struck me as strange. If Im not mistaken, elephants and big cats are a protected species, so how can you go around shooting them and showing pictures of it on the net? Now I don't mind people hunting for survival, you eat what you kill and every one needs to eat.
What I do not condone and find distasteful, barbaric and totally disgusting are people who go about hunting for pleasure. You think you're a big man now eh, you got a gun and you can shoot down a big mothe of an elephat. Well news-flash bub, a two year old can use a gun. Go get some plastic surgery and get you're penus extended if that's why you need all this machismo bull shit to make yourself feel like a man... Someone should really look into this...
Yes True Believes, the week-end has finally landed!
After a long hard week of working, i finally get some time to myself to go sort out my laundry.
Life of the unmarried, living alone male is full of piles. There are piles of stuff eveywhere, all needing a good sorting out just so that you don't lose things, like your mind. Its just that you neve seem to have the time to do it, you know, sorting things out.
At the office I have that pile of papers under my desk which haunts my dreams and I'm quite certain that one day it'll follow me home without me knowing it and finally swallow me up. That they is pretty far away i feel, as I have an equally evil pile of laundry that greets me evey morning when i wake up and welcomes me home every evening i come back. I feel there's a lot of truth in that yin and yang business, you know, keeping a balance in all things that you do. So right now i have that perfect balance, a pile of laundry at home and papers at the office.
I remember a time when week-ends were times of joy and freedom, where all you had to do was lay back relax, then go out partying all night. Now, my week-ends seem to be more of washing things, running aroud paying bills and worrying about what I gotta do on Monday. Well, when you grow older, I suppose, reality comes along bashes you on the head saying, "Oi, you got stuff to do!". Usually reality swings a bag of stale, week old laundry.
After a long hard week of working, i finally get some time to myself to go sort out my laundry.
Life of the unmarried, living alone male is full of piles. There are piles of stuff eveywhere, all needing a good sorting out just so that you don't lose things, like your mind. Its just that you neve seem to have the time to do it, you know, sorting things out.
At the office I have that pile of papers under my desk which haunts my dreams and I'm quite certain that one day it'll follow me home without me knowing it and finally swallow me up. That they is pretty far away i feel, as I have an equally evil pile of laundry that greets me evey morning when i wake up and welcomes me home every evening i come back. I feel there's a lot of truth in that yin and yang business, you know, keeping a balance in all things that you do. So right now i have that perfect balance, a pile of laundry at home and papers at the office.
I remember a time when week-ends were times of joy and freedom, where all you had to do was lay back relax, then go out partying all night. Now, my week-ends seem to be more of washing things, running aroud paying bills and worrying about what I gotta do on Monday. Well, when you grow older, I suppose, reality comes along bashes you on the head saying, "Oi, you got stuff to do!". Usually reality swings a bag of stale, week old laundry.
What is a life?
2,365,200,000 seconds, 82,125 square meals if you're lucky, hopefully 11 years of school, 4 years of university and 1 degree. A marriage, a child or two, a cat and/or a dog. 20 years worth of mortgage to pay off and maybe that long in student loans. A casket and some flowers and a lot of teary friends and relatives if you were well liked.
That more or less sums up a lifetime for some of us. Of course it could also mean half that many seconds and meals, no school at all and a bomb or two blowing up nearby which would be the case of most of us here.
Now with the all natural threats mostly conquered, we find that we are fighting the most dangerous adversary of all; ourselves. Our greatest enemy, we now seem so adamant at killing each other over the most obscure and intangible reasons. Faith, Religion, Politics and Money. All are there to lead us out of this darkness but forever damning us to this eternal cycle of violence, hate and murder.
What is the comedy though? What is there to laugh about? The thing is, we are the comedy. We are the Great Cosmic Jest. We applaud ourselves for how good we are, how civilised, how charitable we are, at our attempts to cease all suffering and spread love and joy thoughout. We see the suffering in others and we long to set things right. The funny thing is, we are the cause of this suffering. Like a rabid dog, we maul ourselves on the pretense that we are doing good. We are doing the right thing. People will understand how right we are, eventually. Terrorism is bad, it hurts people. So lets go blow up another country, rob them blind and make them pay for the mess that we made ourselves; never mind the fact that they have no idea what you're talking about and chances are had nothing to do with the whole matter. This cycle of carnage, hate and pain revolves; the chakrawala turns though its stages of sukha and dukha; and we merely turn with it.
It seems to me that we just like watching other peoples' pain on the 6 o'clock news. The media's picked up on this a long time ago. If you're headlining story isn't a scandal, murder, a war or has a picture of some poor half-dead child from the other side of the planet; you're paper won't sell. We've used the most mundane of reasons to start war, everything from public opion to bananas. Anything, to get that octane high you get from watching another man's life ebb away, his life ruined, his tears staining the ground.
I suppose i should end this by saying we all should just get along and be happy that we're here to share this magnificent gift called life. I don't think that that would achieve anything though, do you? What I'll do is end this with a question, how do you feel about your life? Has it been good to you? What do you think of your neighbours, do you want to kill them too?
2,365,200,000 seconds, 82,125 square meals if you're lucky, hopefully 11 years of school, 4 years of university and 1 degree. A marriage, a child or two, a cat and/or a dog. 20 years worth of mortgage to pay off and maybe that long in student loans. A casket and some flowers and a lot of teary friends and relatives if you were well liked.
That more or less sums up a lifetime for some of us. Of course it could also mean half that many seconds and meals, no school at all and a bomb or two blowing up nearby which would be the case of most of us here.
"Every second, 165 people die for any number of reasons, mostly to do with war, hunger or poverty."The odds seemed stacked up against us but we always seem to persevere, to move forward. Kicking and screaming but forward never the less. We can find ourselves being at our most noble when faced with adversity. A man digs through the rubble of a bombed out shelter to save a child he doesn't even know. Mankind has struggled through the ages, with the constant threat of death and extinction just lurking in the corner of our eyes; like a leopard in the grass it waits, ready to pounce and yet we persevered by simply helping one another.
Now with the all natural threats mostly conquered, we find that we are fighting the most dangerous adversary of all; ourselves. Our greatest enemy, we now seem so adamant at killing each other over the most obscure and intangible reasons. Faith, Religion, Politics and Money. All are there to lead us out of this darkness but forever damning us to this eternal cycle of violence, hate and murder.
Faith, Religion, Politics and Money. All are there to lead us out of this darkness but forever damning us to this eternal cycle of violence, hate and murder.What is murder? When a man kills another man in cold blood; that is murder. When a man prematurely ends the life of another, forcing the othe ou of existence itself; that is murder. Now consider this, change his label, when a soldier kills another soldier, that is just status quo. When he kills a non-combatant; the aged, women, children, that is just collateral damage. That is him just following orders. Murder. It seems that life now is so cheap and so easily taken away over the most trivial reasons when it is the one and only most precious thing any individual can own.
What is the comedy though? What is there to laugh about? The thing is, we are the comedy. We are the Great Cosmic Jest. We applaud ourselves for how good we are, how civilised, how charitable we are, at our attempts to cease all suffering and spread love and joy thoughout. We see the suffering in others and we long to set things right. The funny thing is, we are the cause of this suffering. Like a rabid dog, we maul ourselves on the pretense that we are doing good. We are doing the right thing. People will understand how right we are, eventually. Terrorism is bad, it hurts people. So lets go blow up another country, rob them blind and make them pay for the mess that we made ourselves; never mind the fact that they have no idea what you're talking about and chances are had nothing to do with the whole matter. This cycle of carnage, hate and pain revolves; the chakrawala turns though its stages of sukha and dukha; and we merely turn with it.
It seems to me that we just like watching other peoples' pain on the 6 o'clock news. The media's picked up on this a long time ago. If you're headlining story isn't a scandal, murder, a war or has a picture of some poor half-dead child from the other side of the planet; you're paper won't sell. We've used the most mundane of reasons to start war, everything from public opion to bananas. Anything, to get that octane high you get from watching another man's life ebb away, his life ruined, his tears staining the ground.
I suppose i should end this by saying we all should just get along and be happy that we're here to share this magnificent gift called life. I don't think that that would achieve anything though, do you? What I'll do is end this with a question, how do you feel about your life? Has it been good to you? What do you think of your neighbours, do you want to kill them too?
"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."Morituri te salutant.......
Friedrich Nietzsche
*Note: I actually wrote this piece just over a year ago, after re-reading it, I just had to post it again. One of my favourites so far. I've added to it somewhat but i've tried to maintain true to its original flavour.
One of the most beautiful songs ever written...
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen and you've never met anyone
Who is as positive as I am sometimes
you see everything you see every part
you see all my light and you love my dark
you dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else & not my own partaking
my passive aggressive-ness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting and you've never met anyone
Who is as closed down as I am sometimes
you see everything you see every part
you see all my light and you love my dark
you dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist persists and speaks louder than i know
What i resist you love no matter how low or high I go
I am the funniest woman that you've ever known
I am the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known and you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
you see everything you see every part
you see all my light and you love my dark
you dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen and you've never met anyone
Who is as positive as I am sometimes
you see everything you see every part
you see all my light and you love my dark
you dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else & not my own partaking
my passive aggressive-ness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting and you've never met anyone
Who is as closed down as I am sometimes
you see everything you see every part
you see all my light and you love my dark
you dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist persists and speaks louder than i know
What i resist you love no matter how low or high I go
I am the funniest woman that you've ever known
I am the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known and you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
you see everything you see every part
you see all my light and you love my dark
you dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy."
Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988)
Focus...
That's what I lack... I lack the quality to focus myself onto a task and execute...
I've had this problem since i was a kid, I'd start doing somethig than half-way through, I'd lose interest and carry on... Maybe I've got an Attention Deficit Disorder, well, I'm not that bad, I've seen people with that and they'e petty scary to watch. They REALLY have a problem. Mine is pretty much mildly diluted form; not the " Oh no, I missed the bus, oh wait whats that he has in his hands, wow pretty flowers in the garden!" form but more so the "Oh no, I missed the bus, hmm it was a red bus, what time was i suppose to be there again, erm... where am i going?" type. Anyway, from now on i vow to be a bit more focused in the things that i do... Erm, what was the point i was trying to make again?
That's what I lack... I lack the quality to focus myself onto a task and execute...
I've had this problem since i was a kid, I'd start doing somethig than half-way through, I'd lose interest and carry on... Maybe I've got an Attention Deficit Disorder, well, I'm not that bad, I've seen people with that and they'e petty scary to watch. They REALLY have a problem. Mine is pretty much mildly diluted form; not the " Oh no, I missed the bus, oh wait whats that he has in his hands, wow pretty flowers in the garden!" form but more so the "Oh no, I missed the bus, hmm it was a red bus, what time was i suppose to be there again, erm... where am i going?" type. Anyway, from now on i vow to be a bit more focused in the things that i do... Erm, what was the point i was trying to make again?
"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office."
Aesop
......................What the world would be like if international conflicts were resolved over a game of thumb-wrestling...................?
Hello True Believers...
I find myself at yet another crossroads in life.
I'm finally settling into my new position, and starting to learn the ropes of being in middle management. My only problem is that Ive suddenly developed a case of staff.
Now I'm not talking about 'staph' infection, but well, staff as in people. From being my own one man show, now I have 5 people who look up to me and call me boss. Well, I don't know if they look up to me yet and I'm certain there's going to be a lot of friction initially as we all get to grips with it but I'm lucky in the sense that I outrank most of them by seniority but we've worked togethe for quite some time now. Even more shocking is that within 3 months the number of underlings I'll have will swell up to 15!
In all my entire career so far this past 7 years, I've never had to manage other people. I've always been the lone ranger, working by myself without having to worry about anyone aside from my boss or bosses. It's not that I haven't grown or developed, it's just that the nature of all the jobs I've been in didn't require me to have people woking under me, and now suddenly, I've got a whole team. Well we'll see how thigs go, I'll be as fair and just as possible but still remain firm when necessary.
Aside from that, on a personal note, I am at a crossroads as well, a sweet crossroads whee I know which way i'll choose to go. it's more a chapter in my life I suppose, and I'm happy Ive made that choice. I can't say much yet, but most likely you'll hear all about it in the weeks to come... Anyway, you all take care n wish me luck!
I find myself at yet another crossroads in life.
I'm finally settling into my new position, and starting to learn the ropes of being in middle management. My only problem is that Ive suddenly developed a case of staff.
Now I'm not talking about 'staph' infection, but well, staff as in people. From being my own one man show, now I have 5 people who look up to me and call me boss. Well, I don't know if they look up to me yet and I'm certain there's going to be a lot of friction initially as we all get to grips with it but I'm lucky in the sense that I outrank most of them by seniority but we've worked togethe for quite some time now. Even more shocking is that within 3 months the number of underlings I'll have will swell up to 15!
In all my entire career so far this past 7 years, I've never had to manage other people. I've always been the lone ranger, working by myself without having to worry about anyone aside from my boss or bosses. It's not that I haven't grown or developed, it's just that the nature of all the jobs I've been in didn't require me to have people woking under me, and now suddenly, I've got a whole team. Well we'll see how thigs go, I'll be as fair and just as possible but still remain firm when necessary.
Aside from that, on a personal note, I am at a crossroads as well, a sweet crossroads whee I know which way i'll choose to go. it's more a chapter in my life I suppose, and I'm happy Ive made that choice. I can't say much yet, but most likely you'll hear all about it in the weeks to come... Anyway, you all take care n wish me luck!
"At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid."Friedrich Nietzsche
I can't believe the shit i write sometimes... What the hell, pretty picture though...
"...As such, it is absolutely undefined and unlimited possibility -- boundless possibility. There is no compulsion and no law. It is boundless freedom."The nothing of non-existence, pure-zero, can only be found in the absence of thought. Thought being the internal manifestation, or 'true' manifestation, of the individual provides an intangible, but present element that denies the possibility of nothing. Thus in affect, logic dictates even thinking about nothing is impossible as the action of thought negates its existence. However, notice the paradox, the concept of nothing is anti-thetical to that of existence, it cannot exist for if it did it would not, but in non-existence its concept is made true and it exists thus the paradox loops in on itself. True Nothing is a concept created by the vehicle of thought, and as its creator the human mind is capable of comprehending this notion. For what pupose would the mind need such a concept? Existence and non-existence are of course antynomous. It is impossible to conceive one without understanding the other.
A Man & His Giraffe... (I wonder what that purple balloon is? oh...)
In all my years of surfing the net, i have come across some pretty weird stuff... But this site has got to be one of the weirder ones.. I mean, I've heard of 'furbies' u know, people who get their rocks off on dressing up as furry animals, or drawings of cartoony furry animals doing lewd things to each other but this, this takes the cake. This is the fruit, in fruitcake... it's a site on Chakats, or Chakonas, which seem to be topless, hermaphrodite cat-taurs and what they like to do during their spare time. I mean, it's Tiddles the cat, with an extra set of arms, a human like face, a great set of knockers and a very obvious wing-dang-doodle. The picture i got above is like a PG-15 version, the stuff o the site is much more explicit. I have no idea who that gay rat looking fella's supposed to be or why he's getting a ride so just, just visit the site and check it out for yourself... By the way, if this is your kinda thing, my appologies, it's just that it was a wee bit overwhelming for me...
Chakona Visions
Check this site out as well, this gives an over-all description of Chakat physiology, sociology, hell it even goes into their damn history as well.
Check this site out as well, this gives an over-all description of Chakat physiology, sociology, hell it even goes into their damn history as well.
Day #284:
Still smoking... Maybe i should stop counting ... Well I guess i should just reset to zero, it's been half a year since I 'quit'...
Still smoking... Maybe i should stop counting ... Well I guess i should just reset to zero, it's been half a year since I 'quit'...
"Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed."Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
We start, then, with nothing, pure zero. But this is not the nothing of negation. For not means other than, and other is merely a synonym of the ordinal numeral second. As such it implies a first; while the present pure zero is prior to every first. The nothing of negation is the nothing of death, which comes second to, or after, everything. But this pure zero is the nothing of not having been born. There is no individual thing, no compulsion, outward nor inward, no law. It is the germinal nothing, in which the whole universe is involved or foreshadowed. As such, it is absolutely undefined and unlimited possibility -- boundless possibility. There is no compulsion and no law. It is boundless freedom."You cannot go around and keep score. If you keep score on the good things and the bad things, you'll find out that you're a very miserable person. God gave man the ability to forget, which is one of the greatest attributes you have. Because if you remember everything that's happened to you, you generally remember that which is the most unfortunate."
Hubert H. Humphrey (1911 - 1978)
Well lets see...
My lap-top crashed, I bought a computer then found out i could fix my lap-top, found out i most likely will be promoted soon, found out i didn't need to buy a house just yet though i've done so already (long story), got addicted to computer games again, got blogging withdrawal symptoms, realised that I'm getting older, quit drinking, and oh yeah, and help foil a kidnap cum probable rape and/or murder. You could say I had a full week. Yeah, I think you could....
Phew......
My lap-top crashed, I bought a computer then found out i could fix my lap-top, found out i most likely will be promoted soon, found out i didn't need to buy a house just yet though i've done so already (long story), got addicted to computer games again, got blogging withdrawal symptoms, realised that I'm getting older, quit drinking, and oh yeah, and help foil a kidnap cum probable rape and/or murder. You could say I had a full week. Yeah, I think you could....
Phew......
Candela
Ibrahim Ferrer
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo así.
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo aé.
Puso un baile un jutía, para una gran diversión.
De timbalero un ratón, que alegraba el
campo un día.
Un gato también venía, elegante y placentero,
Buenas noches, compañero
siempre dijo así el timbal
Para alguien aqui poder tocar,
para descansar un poco.
Salió el ratón medio loco
también voy a descansar.
Y el gato en su buen bailar, bailaba un
danzón liviano.
El ratón se subió al guano, y dice
bien placentero:
Y ahora si quieren bailar, búsquense otro timbalero!
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo aé.
Oye Faustino Orama y sus compañeros,
necesito que me apaguen el fuego.
Selina llama pronto a los bomberos para
que vengan a apagar el fuego.
Oye, si estás perdida llama a los siete ceros,
y así vendrán mas pronto los bomberos.
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo aé.
mama Aaaay!
........................
Para mi bebé
Ibrahim Ferrer
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo así.
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo aé.
Puso un baile un jutía, para una gran diversión.
De timbalero un ratón, que alegraba el
campo un día.
Un gato también venía, elegante y placentero,
Buenas noches, compañero
siempre dijo así el timbal
Para alguien aqui poder tocar,
para descansar un poco.
Salió el ratón medio loco
también voy a descansar.
Y el gato en su buen bailar, bailaba un
danzón liviano.
El ratón se subió al guano, y dice
bien placentero:
Y ahora si quieren bailar, búsquense otro timbalero!
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo aé.
Oye Faustino Orama y sus compañeros,
necesito que me apaguen el fuego.
Selina llama pronto a los bomberos para
que vengan a apagar el fuego.
Oye, si estás perdida llama a los siete ceros,
y así vendrán mas pronto los bomberos.
Ay candela, candela, candela me quemo aé.
mama Aaaay!
........................
Para mi bebé
I have a confession to make.
There have been times in my life that i haven't been entirely honest and have made decisions that were poorly thought out. I have made every mistake imaginable, and have been careless with the affection and good-will of others. I've never truly back-stabbed though I have felt pangs of four letter words swell up and subside over an individual or two. Yes true-believers, yours truly has been selfish and nasty.
Well, to give myself some credit, I've not been all bad and have been steadily trying to improve myself. Either way, I'm not a total green-eyed monster and actually I am quite normal. It's just in my nature to feel the heavy hand of guilt quite readily on my shoulders which leads me to the point of this little soiree of letters and sentences; Feeling Guilt Over Things Done In The Past.
I have this tendency, of replaying little incidents from the past in my head, of things that I've done or said, felt or experienced and mentally beat myself up over it. I've felt guilt over things I did when I was six well up and left me practically depressed. Guilt is a strong emotion, to those that feel it. It's a potent learning experience and helps you stop repeating otherwise damaging overt anti-social behaviour if continued would definitely lead to ostracism, or worse.
Usually the case is you do something, figure out that what you did was pretty, a) stupid b) unethical c) immoral d) unthinking etc etc, and feel bad about it afterwards. Sometimes guilt is built in and reinforced from a young age via numerous social pressures such as religion. This form of guilt springs up even at the merest thought of doing an action that would be contra to your current belief structure. Bottom line is that guilt makes you crappy and ad about being crappy.
There have been times in my life that i haven't been entirely honest and have made decisions that were poorly thought out. I have made every mistake imaginable, and have been careless with the affection and good-will of others. I've never truly back-stabbed though I have felt pangs of four letter words swell up and subside over an individual or two. Yes true-believers, yours truly has been selfish and nasty.
Well, to give myself some credit, I've not been all bad and have been steadily trying to improve myself. Either way, I'm not a total green-eyed monster and actually I am quite normal. It's just in my nature to feel the heavy hand of guilt quite readily on my shoulders which leads me to the point of this little soiree of letters and sentences; Feeling Guilt Over Things Done In The Past.
I have this tendency, of replaying little incidents from the past in my head, of things that I've done or said, felt or experienced and mentally beat myself up over it. I've felt guilt over things I did when I was six well up and left me practically depressed. Guilt is a strong emotion, to those that feel it. It's a potent learning experience and helps you stop repeating otherwise damaging overt anti-social behaviour if continued would definitely lead to ostracism, or worse.
Usually the case is you do something, figure out that what you did was pretty, a) stupid b) unethical c) immoral d) unthinking etc etc, and feel bad about it afterwards. Sometimes guilt is built in and reinforced from a young age via numerous social pressures such as religion. This form of guilt springs up even at the merest thought of doing an action that would be contra to your current belief structure. Bottom line is that guilt makes you crappy and ad about being crappy.
"It's not that I don't have a conscience, I just choose not to listen to it sometimes."
In my younger years, a close friend asked me how I could I have such a hedonistic devil may care attitude towards life and people in general (I'm much better now honest!). I replied, "It's not that I don't have a conscience, I just choose not to listen to it sometimes." What I should have added was, "Then I let it beat me up afterwards." Fair enough, everyone feels bad about the mistakes of the past. Everybody regrets. I suppose when you are younger and don't have as deep an understanding of that there are repercussions to your actions that will affect others or yourself, if not now that most definitely later. Guilt is the realisation that such repercussions could have been avoided only if you hadn't screwed about half as much.
Realisation is such a strong word, which I belive many do not exhibit or experience enough in this world. People have a tendency to act and not care, not realise that they could have hurt someone or in fact just did. This realisation if taken positively, builds the foundation of supporting experiences necessary to live a happier life removed from avoidable bad experiences, because, well, you learned to avoid them by not doing them in the first place. If taken negatively though, excessive guilt can seriously f*** you up. So it's important to have a good sense of balance over these things. Hey, I'm learning how to handle it to, if i figure it out before any of you do I'd be sure to tell you so long as you do like-wise.
A wise man once said, that an honest man with a good sense of right and wrong, sleeps better than some one who isn't. Why? Because he doesn't have to worry or feel upset over the actions that he did. Personally, I do feel a heckuva lotta guilt over some of the crap I've comitted in my life. Trust me, I've not been a good boy, I am now or at least I'm trying my best to be. I appologise if I've ever hurt or offended any of you in blogger-land, intentionally or unintentionally (though if it was intentionally I'm sure i had a good reason at the time!). Regardless i do feel bad about it. Anyway, enough of my blabbering, see you guys around...
DISCLAIMER:
This piece was written purely from a point of view perspective discussing the topic in general. Feelings discussed and in this piece are purely in the past and if were pertaining to actions involving you, you are already aware of it. Friends and loved ones reading this must realise and accept that this is not
a. an admission of comitting
b. an admission of contemplation to commit
an act or acts that would lead me to feelings of guilt over the aforementioned possibility of action. Please pleas please believe me. It's true, I've not done anything wrong. Trust me... Pretty Please?
All around me are familiar faces,
Worn out places,
Worn out faces...
Bright and early for the daily races,
Going no where,
Going no where...
Their tears are filling up their glasses,
No expression,
No expression.
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow,
No tomorrow,
No tomorrow...
And I find I kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take,
When people run in circles its a very very,
Mad world,
Mad world...
Children waiting for the day they feel good,I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take,
When people run in circles its a very very,
Mad world,
Mad world...
Happy birthday,
Happy birthday...
And I feel the way that every child should,
Sit and listen,
Sit and listen...
Went to school and I was very nervous,
No one knew me,
No one new me...
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson,
Look right through me,
Look right through me...
And I find I kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take,
When people run in circles its a very very,
Mad world,
Mad world...
I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take,
When people run in circles its a very very,
Mad world,
Mad world...
Enlarging your world.
Mad world........................
Mad world........................
Eek!They've found a bunch of chickens in Selangor, 40 in all, infected with with H5N1 virus. They culled them all of course but still... What makes matters worse is that the chickens were found in my home state of Selangor, almost right outside my door. Scary stuff, 'specially after watching the repeat of Oprah the other day. What makes matters worse is I ate chicken for dinner today! Ah well, I also ate beef in the UK during the height of the BSE scare AND the Foot & Mouth debacle so chances are I'm gonna catch the flu soon, start slobbering at the mouth while limping and have my IQ drop to minus 100.
"Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250"
Harper's Index, October 1989
Their are two urban monstrosities in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. One being Pudu Jail, a prison that was built back in the day when the Brits were still at large in the then called Malaya. So far, since it was pretty much unseemly (and unwise) to have a maximum security jail in the heart of the city, so they decommissioned it. They brought it back as a museum for awhile, but people don't usually like to see the history of a prison so they closed it again, then after awhile they turned it back into a minimum security correctional facility for women. That being interesting all in all, it still isn't what I want to write about tonight.
What I want to write about is Pudu Bus Station, or at least an experience I had there a couple of days ago. To give a bit of a background to Pudu bus station, it is a station (duh!) that was built and put into operation way back when KL was a small city and not that many people wanted to go there. Thus, it's facilities are somewhat limited and very, very dated. My office is just across the street from the station and I can actually see it from my window on the 38th floor. Since KL has grown almost exponentially since Pudu was first put into operation, the station has had to cope with an excessive influx of busses, tourists and travelers to the point where it literally spills out into the streets. I'm not joking, busses line up right in front of my office and park on a main road because they have no other place to go. Since it is a literal cross-roads for travelers, all manner of savoury and unsavoury characters stroll in and out and hang about outside and it's the unsavoury ones (hmm, does that make them sweet?) that are give reasons to worry.
Anyway, the other day I went down stairs for a smoke and walked all the way down to the front of my office building as I needed to get away whilst I light up my and unwind. It was just passed sun-down and the streets were pretty dark if not empty. I was standing there, puffing away, minding my own business when I noticed a gritty looking chap, with greasy long hair under a lamp post just staring at me all grim looking. I kinda shuffled away thinking, well he's just bored maybe someone else will catch his attention. But no, I had his undivided attention. The guy was just straight out eye-balling. Then, as if he'd made his mind up, he pushed himself off the lamp post and slowly sauntered towards my general direction. I tried to look unconcerned and non-chalant but his slow progress towards my vicinity was kinda intimidating. When he finally reached me he leaned real close and whispered...
"Mahu pergi Hatyai?", do you want to go to Hatyai (Thailand). I was like ,what? "Mahu pergi Hatyai? Ipoh, Pinang?" he prattled on a few more destinations at me while I just stood there with a dumb look on my face. It finally dawned on me that he was trying to sell me bus ticket. I was like what? No no I don't want to go to Hatyai, or Pinang or where ever. Even after I said that he just continued on trying to impress upon me that his ticket fares were dirt cheap and his bus could get me there in record time and I'd be a fool if I didn't take him up on his offer. No, no, I don't want to go anywhere, I said. "Tapi ticket murah bang." But my tickets are cheap, he then asserted.
I'm thinking what person in his right mind, would succumb to this? I mean I've heard of impulse buying, but impulse traveling? It was pretty obvious I didn't want to go to any of those places but he still insisted I did. I mean, I didn't even have any luggage with me. It makes me wonder if his tactics have ever worked before, I mean it must have if this was his way of getting travelers. Does this mean that there is someone out there who actually during his lunch break suddenly decide to go to Thailand because the tickets were cheap? Well, I suppose it takes all sorts to make up this world.
What I want to write about is Pudu Bus Station, or at least an experience I had there a couple of days ago. To give a bit of a background to Pudu bus station, it is a station (duh!) that was built and put into operation way back when KL was a small city and not that many people wanted to go there. Thus, it's facilities are somewhat limited and very, very dated. My office is just across the street from the station and I can actually see it from my window on the 38th floor. Since KL has grown almost exponentially since Pudu was first put into operation, the station has had to cope with an excessive influx of busses, tourists and travelers to the point where it literally spills out into the streets. I'm not joking, busses line up right in front of my office and park on a main road because they have no other place to go. Since it is a literal cross-roads for travelers, all manner of savoury and unsavoury characters stroll in and out and hang about outside and it's the unsavoury ones (hmm, does that make them sweet?) that are give reasons to worry.
Anyway, the other day I went down stairs for a smoke and walked all the way down to the front of my office building as I needed to get away whilst I light up my and unwind. It was just passed sun-down and the streets were pretty dark if not empty. I was standing there, puffing away, minding my own business when I noticed a gritty looking chap, with greasy long hair under a lamp post just staring at me all grim looking. I kinda shuffled away thinking, well he's just bored maybe someone else will catch his attention. But no, I had his undivided attention. The guy was just straight out eye-balling. Then, as if he'd made his mind up, he pushed himself off the lamp post and slowly sauntered towards my general direction. I tried to look unconcerned and non-chalant but his slow progress towards my vicinity was kinda intimidating. When he finally reached me he leaned real close and whispered...
"Mahu pergi Hatyai?", do you want to go to Hatyai (Thailand). I was like ,what? "Mahu pergi Hatyai? Ipoh, Pinang?" he prattled on a few more destinations at me while I just stood there with a dumb look on my face. It finally dawned on me that he was trying to sell me bus ticket. I was like what? No no I don't want to go to Hatyai, or Pinang or where ever. Even after I said that he just continued on trying to impress upon me that his ticket fares were dirt cheap and his bus could get me there in record time and I'd be a fool if I didn't take him up on his offer. No, no, I don't want to go anywhere, I said. "Tapi ticket murah bang." But my tickets are cheap, he then asserted.
I'm thinking what person in his right mind, would succumb to this? I mean I've heard of impulse buying, but impulse traveling? It was pretty obvious I didn't want to go to any of those places but he still insisted I did. I mean, I didn't even have any luggage with me. It makes me wonder if his tactics have ever worked before, I mean it must have if this was his way of getting travelers. Does this mean that there is someone out there who actually during his lunch break suddenly decide to go to Thailand because the tickets were cheap? Well, I suppose it takes all sorts to make up this world.
You would never have to own more than one outfit in your entire life. Unless you come from the South Asia, thenyou'd change your clothing ten times on the way to post office while everyone else sings and dances around you.
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."Oscar Wilde
I'm the kind of guy who talks to himself.
I freely admit it, if you wanna label me a nutjob go ahead, do it. Thing is, I just can't help myself, I get stressed, upset, I start mumbling. When I'm deep i thought pondering some question that's been nagging at the edge of my thoughts, it sometimes just spills out into the real world. This can be quite embarassing at times, as I'm sure you can imagine.Maybe it's because I think too much, or because I'm quite the lone wold, used to being by myself most of the time that I forget when people are aound that it's quite socially unacceptable to be babbling to yourself. Or it could also be that I'm quite soft spoken so sometimes when I'm talking to someone, they don't notice and I just continue on.
I read somewhere that talking to yourself is a good form of self-therapy. You kinda bring up issues you have without yourself, and talk it out until you find some kind of resolution. I have conversations with myself all the time, it's a throw-back from when i was a kid and didn't have that many playmates living near me. I'd go off into some imaginary romp complete with sound track and affects much to the consternation of my parents. "He has a healthy imagination you see...."
Even into my adulthood I still play little mind games with myself. I imagine myself in a movie and everything I do and say is just following the script. Or sometimes I tell myself little stories with me cast as the main protagonist. Sometimes these little fantasies escape into the real world and I blurt out a word. Usually, this happens when I'm alone or stuck somewhere with nothing else to do like if I was on the bus or the train. It does help with my writing though, half the stuff I write down is from these little ponderings.
"That is what all poets do: they talk to themselves out loud; and the world overhears them. But it's horribly lonely not to hear someone else talk sometimes."
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Anglo-Irish playwright, critic
I do tend to find it easier to solve problems when i talk to myself. It's as if verbalising a question makes it 'real' enough for me to see all of its aspects until I can come up with a solution. Also, since I write as a hobby, I find that if I speak what i write out aloud it helps me form my thoughts better. The act of physically saying the words seems to add more weight and depth to my sentences, especially when it comes to my poems. I won't realise that it sounds like crap until I read it out.
Maybe I got deep rooted problems that are plaguing my psyche to the point where thoughts are hard to keep in my head and just have to get out somehow. Yeah I could be going nuts, or maybe even, I'm already nuts. Well, I leave it to you, true-believers, to decide, 'specially since you've been loyally reading my crap anyway. Passing thought, do thoughts become words only when you say them, or are they already words when they're still in your head?
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), (attributed)
I recently watched Puteri Gunung Ledang: The Musical, at Istana Budaya; KL's local theatre, and was rather impressed by it. Especially when it touched on Majapahit, one of the super powers in this part of the world back in the day. Anyways, it got me interested enough to look up old Javanese stories etc to learn more about them. What I came across were old stories about Panji Dewa which were simply quite enthralling. It turned out that stories about Panji were quite rampant in the region that it has got to be said to be one of the most popular and enduring of Indonesia's great works of literature.Unlike many other works of Indonesian literature, the Panji tales are a product of indigenous inspiration, rather than the reworking of themes borrowed from elsewhere. The story originated in Java, but became popular over a wide area of western Indonesia, Borneo and as far north as Thailand. There are a large number of tales in the Panji story cycle, and the genre's wide distribution and frequent appearance in old manuscripts provide strong evidence of their former popularity.
The stories are set in ancient Java, and involve the relationships between four kingdoms. The basis of the tales is Panji's search for his lost love, which leads him into battle against hostile kings, as he conquers many obstacles. After many twists and turns, the lovers are reunited and married, and Panji returns home to succeed his father as king of Kunipan.
The stories are set in the second half of the 11th century, but it was probably not until the Majapahit period (13th-15th centuries) that they became popular, and began to be regarded as a recognised literary form. The kingdom of Majapahit was, by this time, prosperous and powerful, and Javanese culture, along with the Panji tales, spread to the nearby islands.
Bali was the first place where the story was developed, and was recorded on palm leaf manuscripts (lontar). The story was expanded, reaching its longest form in the 18th century poem, Malat. The Panji tales were also carried to the Malay-speaking areas of southern Kalimantan, south Sumatra, and to the east coast of the Malay Peninsula, to Kelantan where they were written as hikayat, a Malay prose form intended for recitation to an audience by a storyteller. In Java they exist in Middle Javanese in a form called kidung, which has been preserved in Bali; and in classical Modern Javanese, the macapat verse form.
Panji literature also finds expression in various dramatic forms, where episodes are performed; the shadow play (wayang kulit); dance drama (wayang wong); and classic drama of Bali, the gambuh, for example. Scenes are depicted artistically in the wayang beber and on temple reliefs. Many of the manuscripts in which the Panji stories are written are also beautifully illustrated.
