Good Morning True Believers!
The company I'm working for is curretly going through a restructuring... Oooh... Scary words, re-struc-tu-ring aka downsizing aka upsizing etc etc, makes you feel like you really should have purchased that redundancy insurance when you had the chance... But no no, this is a REAL restructuring where people get moved about into different position, different departments, when once you were in customer service, suddenly you're a sys op (yeah right!). Well, we're going through the first few phases as yesterday management revealed our new org chart during our recent quartely cascade (don't worry, i'll give a quick phrase guide at the end of this piece).
When asked, "when will the new org chart be affective?" Our Great Leader replied, "Immediately!" There was a hush in the crowd which quickly gathered into sharp intake of breath. The crowd thought out in complete unison:
"What, you mean after this briefing, you've moved my desk into some strange unknown corner of the building on another floor!?!?"
"No, no, no, the changes are affective immediately but we'll implement them gradually." actual quote.
Now I don't know about you, but that last statement didn't make much sense. Taken literally, it's a conflicting sentence, it's like saying, "The weather today will be blisteringly hot throughout, so be prepared for snow." or "I feel like eating chicken today, so I guess I'll order the steak." Even if you forget the "immediately" part, it still doesn't make any sense. How can you implement a new organisational structure, with new departments and positions and implement it gradually? What, at some point in the next few months our company will have two structures? Half the work force won't have anyone to report to or be reported to? A total Management Now-answer that makes you stop and go, "What?" and by the time you reach the point of, "...hey, hang on, wait a minute..." the briefings over and eveyones shuffled out of the room.
Phraseology:
sys op : system operator; the slightly disturbed guy who's always in a big, winter jacket and lives in your server room.
cascade : When management calls everyone into a small room and pous information down their ears.
org chart : Organisational Chart; a map of your company's pecking order.
The company I'm working for is curretly going through a restructuring... Oooh... Scary words, re-struc-tu-ring aka downsizing aka upsizing etc etc, makes you feel like you really should have purchased that redundancy insurance when you had the chance... But no no, this is a REAL restructuring where people get moved about into different position, different departments, when once you were in customer service, suddenly you're a sys op (yeah right!). Well, we're going through the first few phases as yesterday management revealed our new org chart during our recent quartely cascade (don't worry, i'll give a quick phrase guide at the end of this piece).
When asked, "when will the new org chart be affective?" Our Great Leader replied, "Immediately!" There was a hush in the crowd which quickly gathered into sharp intake of breath. The crowd thought out in complete unison:
"What, you mean after this briefing, you've moved my desk into some strange unknown corner of the building on another floor!?!?"
"No, no, no, the changes are affective immediately but we'll implement them gradually." actual quote.
Now I don't know about you, but that last statement didn't make much sense. Taken literally, it's a conflicting sentence, it's like saying, "The weather today will be blisteringly hot throughout, so be prepared for snow." or "I feel like eating chicken today, so I guess I'll order the steak." Even if you forget the "immediately" part, it still doesn't make any sense. How can you implement a new organisational structure, with new departments and positions and implement it gradually? What, at some point in the next few months our company will have two structures? Half the work force won't have anyone to report to or be reported to? A total Management Now-answer that makes you stop and go, "What?" and by the time you reach the point of, "...hey, hang on, wait a minute..." the briefings over and eveyones shuffled out of the room.
Phraseology:
sys op : system operator; the slightly disturbed guy who's always in a big, winter jacket and lives in your server room.
cascade : When management calls everyone into a small room and pous information down their ears.
org chart : Organisational Chart; a map of your company's pecking order.
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