One of the defining qualities of a good politician is maturity.
You know I really can't stand Office Politicians. I'm sure you know the sort I'm talking about, the ones that have that plasticky toothy grin, always have the right answers, that air of false sincerety about them yet they always make you feel that if they were a lake there'd be crocodiles? I'm sure you know the sort, every company has them... Well the company i work for has tons of them, practically everyone seems to enjoy the game... I suppose it can't be helped as the nature of the company is telesales. Yes, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I do telesales...
When I joined up I was told I wasn't going to do telesales, i wasn't going to be a telemarketer. Lies! All Lies I Tell You! My official position was supposed to be a Business Development Position which by definition means you're building relationships with current business to create more business, none of that cold calling nonsense... Well within a month the deifinition of my work changed from being called development to being called sales... Yes my boss is the gratest salesman on earth, a real good one... And he's also good at politicking....
My whole point is sometimes i wish that people could just be straight forward with what they're thinking and be objective about their actions. Why is it that in order to get ahead in this world one has to be so cut throat and inconsiderate of other people? Surely there must be a better way? But then again there was a wise old Indian sage that once said "Go into the forest. You will see that the trees that are crooked are all still standing whereas the trees that grew straight have all been cut down." It's hard for a nice guy to ever win. *sigh*
I came across an article today whilst surfing the 'net which information that I'm sure everyman out there would just love to get there hands on. Scientist has discovered a new substance guarenteed to turn women on and I kid you not gentlemen, it does work! A test group 90 women were used and 45 were given pads coated with the substance whilst the other group, or control group, received placebo pads. What they then had to do was snif the cotton pads several times a day for a period of two months. The test group reported a
24% Increase in Sexual Desire and a
17% Increase in Sexual Fantasies. The control group reported no affects what so ever.
Yes gentlemen, a true to the core scent that is a scientifically proven to be a an aphrodisiac. Yes men, there is still hope for you boys yet! But wait a minute... Things are never that easy you know... Nothing is ever perfect and god usually has a sick sense of humour... Well you see the main problem with this wonder scent is that you can't actually buy it at the shops and though it's widely available, in normal cases if you could get your hands on it you won't be needing it anyway... and even if you did you wouldn't want to go smearing it all over yourself (well, the majority of you guys at least), trust me. This wonder scent just happens to be human breast milk! Yes lactating women turn other women on apparently. Don't take my word for it, just check the article out
here.
Whoah, I can't believe it... My birthday is in a few days and i can clearly remember what i did on my last birthday... Shit how time flies... I would like to say how time flies when you're having fun, but i wouldn't say i've been having much fun this past year... It's been more of a blur with a few nasty bits stuck in between... It ended on a sweet note though i have to say... But gosh, it only seems like yesterday that i stepped out of high school, and now it literally was a decade ago... 1 decade, 10 years, 3,650 days or thereabouts... Sheesh... The worst bit is i can remember almost with crystal clarity what i did on my last day of school... I can remember my class mates and old school mates... Neighbours etc... but the funiest thing is, apart from one person, I've completely lost touched with everyone i knew back then... I wonder what they've been up to and what's happened to them... Then again I've moved around so much in the last decade (eep!) that I have no idea how on earth I'm supposed to get hold of them... Then again i ask myself, do i really want to know? *Sigh* I think I should write a book about the last ten years of my life... It'd be quite interesting really, but then again i think most people live interesting lives anyway, just that I don't really have a good ending to it... yet... Should i just go an spazz out this week-end which would maintain the overall plot of most of my life or ahould i end it on a quiet, philosophical note? I'd have to weigh the pro's and con's though I think spazzing out may be high on the agenda.... If i'm given the chance that is...
Pic 1.2 The International Anti-Cat Fart Symbol. Post it on your web-sites to show support.
I am tired of hearing wishy-washy bullshit from the people i have to deal with day in and day out. My job is sales oriented so i here all kinds of limp excuses from people worried they'd be found out. Seriously, why be worried, be PROUD of your bullshit! How will anyone else believe you, if you don't seem to believe yourself? What you will be doing if you carry on like this, (and take it from me I'm a
Hard-Core Bullshitter, I bullshit with the best!) will be releasing little cat farts instead of nice big
MANLY bullshit! Why cat farts? Because because your words will have the same impact as one, namely,
NOTHING! So come one, come all and support my call for today as "No Cat Fart Day".....
"If it aint true bullshit, then what you've got there is a cat fart!"
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Pic. 1.1 : Yet another happy & content employee.
The art of managing people in an office environment is a complex issue as it involves getting people to do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do on their own accord: Work. This particularly prominent in the cubicle community as they generally represent the company’s dregs that do menial, repetitive tasks which generally are boring and under-stimulating. This under-stimulation leaves their brains prey to things that are genuinely stimulating i.e. the Internet, chatting, drinking coffee, causing mayhem and general disorder in the workplace etc. This over-stimulation does have a tendency to impede productivity in the work force so studies have shown that most incentives barely work and if they do they are short-lived and last only as long as it takes the employee the acclimatize to it.
So what is the answer then dear student? Brain-slugs! Yes, use of brain-slugs in the work place has shown that management can increase office efficiency by a ten-fold thus ensuring increased profits for shareholders. After insemination of the slug into the employee, the employee will become more pliant and willing to suggestion, and can be done to do any number of menial, unnecessary tasks uncomplaining, continuously. Also, use of brain-slugs has proven that employees are more willing to endure sever pay-cuts and can actually be trained to accept only bread and water as an attractive remuneration for their work. Some precaution must be taken by management however as brain-slugs do tend to reproduce quite prodigiously and employees may attempt to infect management. Enforcement of hats as part of the dress code for management would solve this problem. Also, infected employees have a tendency to drool excessively so plastic carpets may be required.
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Found out who sang Mad World originally, it was Tears For Fears. As it so happens i have an old picture of them from back in the day. Boy, they really do look like the types who'd write Mad World. Come on boys! Lighten up already!
Well, they were from the Eighties during that lovely "New Romantic" era of Brit-pop, which i supposed was one of the precursors of all the different styles of Goth music.... Haaaa... Back in the day wuz good! Check out the mullets those two had! Lol!
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This is another song which i really love, a very very sad song with strong lyrics.... Originally from the eighties again (can't remember who originally did it) it was re-made for the the movie donny darko. Again one of my more favourite movies... Have to say there have been times in my life when i could really relate to this song....
Mad World
Gary Jules
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
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Don't know if you guys know this song, but it's one of my childhood favourites by a UK starlet from the late eighties/early nineties. One of the more inspirational songs i know Something good to listen while you're at the gym...
"The Only Way Is Up"
Yazz
We been broken down
the lowest turn
and been on the bottom line
sure ain't no fun
but if we should be evicted from our homes
we'll just move somewere else
and still carry on
Hold on, Hold on, Hold on
Chorus
The only way is up, baby
For you and me, baby
The only way is up
For you and me
Now we may not known
Where our next meal is coming from
But with you by my side
I'll face what is come
boy, I wanna thank you
for loving me this way
things may be a little hard now
but we'll find a brighter day
Hold on, Hold on, Hold on
Chorus
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Darn it! I woke up 1hr and 1/2 earlier this morning as i wanted to go to the gym before i went to the office. I was supposed to have left the house by 6.30 am but instead it was a little passed 7am by the time i managed to be already to leave. That with the jam going into KL this morning meant that i arrived just a little to late to go to the gym yet to damn early to be in the office. Realising i had noithing else better to do i decided, "well what the heck, might as well go in early today." There was no here apart from the cleaning lady who almost had a heart attack when she saw me, as usually i walk in 10 minutes late. She was all, "are you ok, what's wrong, why are you here so early?" She wouldn't take my reasons so now is convinced that something truly and utterly horrible happened to me or someone around me sometime this morning, automobile pile up on the motorway, abduction by aliens, murder, that kind of thing....
Well, anyway just before i went up to the office this morning, as i parked my car, i saw a bunch young guys with weird hair and shiny clothes which were obviously polyester, holding hands just outside the car-park. I was all "whoah, hang on, what's going on here?". They were all pasty coloured with wild eyes and one of them was drooling slightly. "Nice" I thought, so being the macho body-building athlete that i am, i stayed in my car and whimpered slightly while making sure all the doors were locked. Then i saw a couple appear out of nowhere, which apparently were the people these boys were waiting for as they got all excited and started hugging each other. Looking at the young lass and her beau i thought "my god, zombies exist!", but then i realised her jaw was moving up and down in a rabid stuccato motion on some poor piece of gum in her mouth. It then dawned on me who these people were and why they were all holding hands plus why they had an over abbundance of affection for each other: they were all 'E'-ed of their tits! They were so monstrously mangled that they had only just now finished partying out the New Year! It's bloody Monday and New Year finished 3 days ago! Whoah! Why don't I ever get invited to parties like that! Then again, I never get invited to orgies either but maybe that's because to the youth of today, I'm about as cool as a wet fish.
*Sigh* There was a time when i walked out of clubs around the same time as these lot, had a a two hour nap and was ready to do it all over again. The last time i tried that, I was in bed for two days and kept getting cramps. Times really have changed and now it feels like my body is trying to get back at me for all the crap i put it through when i was younger. Well sine i started my exercise regimen and diet plan, it has been slightly more forgiving. It's easier now for me to walk up stairs, i can get out of my chair un-aided and with all the veggies i've been having I go like clockwork two times a day. However with all this extra protein i've been eating, it's been causing me to have farts you'd never believe. Apparently it has something to do with all the extra nitrogen in the meat i'm consuming. It's supposed to mean i'm healthy, but oh-my-god i tell you, I almost knocked myself out when i was driving to work this morning. Thank god i was alone, otherwise i might have been accused of attempted murder with a deadly weapon! Well, God is fair, he gives and he takes, but boy have i been giving out... Anyway, Happy New Year to all of you and take care... I gotta do some work already.....
This will be my last post for this year, seeing that there's only a couple of hours left to 2004 here in KL. It's been an interesting year albeit strange year. I still can't wrap my head around the tsunami that pounded most of South & south-East Asia. It's extremely saddening to think about how many people are out there now in the cold not knowing what the new year will bring them. It feels almost rude and vulgar to even think about enjoying the New Year. However, when you go out tonite do not think of it as celebrating their misfortune, but as celebrating the memory of those who have gone on and remember that even in our darkest hour, hope will guide our way.
Auld Lang Syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,
Sin auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin auld lang syne.
And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne
Have a Happy New Year Everyone.... Or at least try to in your own way...
It has always been an issue for me with all the girls I've been going out with about me not talking to them enough on the phone. Why do women have this fixation on talking with their men on the phone I've pondered. I've been told that all they really want is to know that you're thinking of them and that their on your mind and that's all they want to know, but I've never had a conversation on the phone with woman before that's gone along the lines of:-
Him : Hi there, I'm thinking of you..
Her : Oh that's nice, so am I...
Him : Ok then, love you and talk to you later..
Her : Love you to, bye...
Never-ever have i had a conversation like this with a woman, if i tried I'd get into to trouble. Then it would be all, "Oh you don't talk to me like you used to..." or "Something has changed..." then they'd get all pissy on you and angry at your inattentiveness. You try to explain that you don't have anything to talk about then your accused of not opening up. When you really really don't have time for a pondering beat around the bush 20 minute conversation then your self-centred and uncarring. A man can never win.
With my two best friends, both guys, my telephone conversations with them will never exceed 5 minutes unless there is something that urgently needs to be discussed at that point in time. Fair enough, I realise that women use talking as a form of socialising, but men generally use it as a tool to achieve or accomplish something so when suddenly you have no idea why your talking or what your trying to achieve with the conversation it can get quite perplexing for a guy.
Sometimes, a guy just doesn't want to talk. The last thing he wants to do is open up and bare his soul when he's upset. At times a man may clam up because he doesn't want to pointlessly lose his temper at the ones he loves the most. Women on the other hand, like to talk about how they feel about their problems, as talking about it acts as a salve i suppose. For men on the other hand, talking about problem you have no control over forces you to re-live to situation all over again and has a tendency to get you all worked up; well that's how it is for me anyway.
Well i suppose the point I'm trying to make is that men and women approach communication differently. We men will always love the women of our lives regardless of how many times we talk to them. However, women seem to believe that this is not possible. The logic seems a bit absurd but this is how i view it anyway:-
She: "I'm thinking about you right now but you haven't called me yet, so this must mean you don't love me."
This sentiment 99.9999% of the time is just soooooooo not true, believe me...
To finish off, I realise that I've more or less gotten myself in deep doo-doo with most of the women reading this ('specially the one I'm dating) and I'm glad to say that I have a pseudonym to protect myself with from most of you. Please look after your men and love them. We're not like you and we do not communicate like you, at times we have no idea what you're going on about or why your getting so angry at us. I'm sure sometimes you feel the same way to, so the bottom line is to not try and understand our differences, but just simply to accept the fact that we are.
Thank you......
