An interesting thing happened to me when i was there though, something which I feel I should bring up. This happened to me while I was boading the plane, flying back to Boston and I would have to say was one of the more embarassing moments in my life, somehting I wouldn't want to experience again and ordinarily would like to allocate the memory to some distant area in my brain, far away from where my regular thoughts usually flow. If it wasn't for the obvious ha-ha factor, I would never have brought it up in my blog. My opinion is that if you can look at a bad experience and find the humour in it, then it means that you've learned something and have grown as an individual, thus me wanting to share this experience with you, my dear blog-ee...
The story is like this, after just about an hour of waiting to board my flight, my seating section was finally called for boarding, as usual my seat was right at the back of the plane. I have no idea why, but whenever I fly, they usually place me there. Maybe there is some ariline regulation governing single male travellers, but that's usually where i get placed. Anyway, i joined the queue and proceeded to slowly plod the way onto the plane. Prior to this, I had a very interesting conversation with a mom and her son. Aparently her kid was flying to Boston to study in some expensive high school. Why anyone would want to go through high school in Boston when they're from L.A. is beyond me. I would have done High School in Cali THEN go for college n Boston... Makes more sense, the chicks are hotter in L.A. Actually, I never really understood how that kid's mom could have gotten past customs into the waiting area, I mean ya its a local flight but you still need a ticket to get into the area and his mom wasn't flying anywhere, anyway I digress.
So I'm in this line see, and finally i get to go onto the plane. I was pure joy for me to finally get onto the plane. It meant I didn't need to wait anymore, I was just so much more closer to getting into the air and flying off into the sunset straight back home. Yes, I had a wonderful holiday but I was more than ready to go back and sleep in my own bed and not have to share it with my brother, two weeks I was with the folks, two weeks I was sleeping in the same bed as my little bro. Little is an understatement, he outweighs me and is at least 4 inches taller, but I love the big lug all the same. Anyway, so I'm in this line, eager to get home, looking forward to the fact that I don't have to worry about acidentally cuddling my sibling in my sleep and I finally board the plane.
When I got on board, there was the usual "good afternoon sir", "Thank you for flying with us today" et cetera crap from the flight attendants. One even helpfully told me that my seat which was D-28 was just behind the 27th row, next to seat C, which I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to work it out for myself seeing that the plane is more a less cylinder with a linear seating arrangement. Anyway, I had just gotten into the plane, got greeted at, told 'useful information' and turned the right corner that you always have to do boarding a plane and enter that little corridor, just before the seats, in between the toilet and what i guess was a utility cupboard. This small little space, was about 3 feet across so just enough space for one individual to go through, after this space it led straight into the first class section of the plane and into the business class then yours truly's ecnmoy class. As I entered it one of the 1st class passengers got up from his seat which was right infront of the passage an stood smack infront of me.
This bloke was just a bit taller then my 5 foot 9 but sure as hell, he outweighed me by at least 100 lbs. I mean, the guy was a ball, he wore suspender because it'd be too uncomfortable for him to wear a belt. Rotund, didn't even begin to explain his body shape. If he was any larger, he'd have his own satelites, hell Earth would be his twin planet. Anyway, Lumpy here wanted to go north when everyone was going south, meaning that as I entered that very tight space I just mentioned to you, he decided to try and squeeze past me. Ordinarily, I would think I would have just been pushed to the side by his bulk and gotten slightly flattened and he would have been able to squirm past me. Unbeknown to him and unfortunately for me, the bag I was carrying was one of those travellers back-packs, meaning it was on my back and had a hell of a lot of clothing in it. As he attempted to squeeze past me I tried to tell him, "Excuse me sir, but there's just not enough room for you, me and my bag so please let me get past first." but all I got to say was, "Er no sir hold on, please let met errkkkk -uunnnff*" as he tried to squirm his massively massive bulk past me, he just flipped me to one side facing him and jammed my back-pack into the wall. When he felt resistance he pushed even harder, thus wedging us completely into that 3 foot space and pushed all the air out of my lungs in the process.
So, we were stuck. He was confused, I was dazed from lack of oxygen, the flight attendants were shocked. There we stood, jammed at the entrance, no way for me to move as he tried with all his might to wedge us even more firmly into the plane. I was flabergasted, confused, I did not know what to do. Never in all my years of flying have I ever had to figure out how to unsquish myself from between a toilet and a hippopotamus. It took the flight attendants 10 minutes to figure out how to seperate me from the toilet and the ox. Take-off was actually delayed because of what was happening in the cabin, I mean the co-pilot came out to see what was going on. I never felt more helpless in my life. Honest to god, I though they were going to rub us in butter and try to seperate us, we were really, really jammed together.
It took the co-pilot and three flight attendants to seperate us. Mr Co-pilot and madame head flight attendant pulling my back-pack which was attached to me, and another two flight attendants pulling on godzilla's left arm. When we were seperated, everyone in the first class section broke out in applause. All i could do was smile, and go well, life can suck at times and quitely and quickly went to my seat. Moral of the story is this, don't be a dick, wait for everyone else to be seated then get up and go do whatever it is you wanted to do. I mean come on, you can't even use the toilet when the planes on the ground, where the hell else did you want to go?
0 comments: