Yesterday I posted the lyrics to one of my most favourite songs, "Everything", by Alanis Morisette. Yes, yes, call me a big softy if you must but i do have my sensitive side and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Well, I was asked a question with i didn't answer in a straight forward manner about the song. Someone asked me who the song reminded me of when i heard the song. I replied "she know who whe is." Well to be honest, the reason i like the song isn't because it reminds me of anyone, it's because I find many paralels in my own concept of what i consider to be love in that song.
I like the song because I relate to it, it more or less voices what i want in a relationship. I want my partner to love me for everything that i am, both good and bad. The way that Alanis describes herself in the song, that she can be this and that, she's an asshole and a baby, yet wise and kind, putting both the negative and positive on equal par yet at the end of it all she states that her beau loves her regardless of her flaws. No ones perfect, and if you go on looking for the perfect mate you'll just find yourself hurt. Alternatively, if you constantly try to change your partner to something else that is other from what he/she is again all you'll find is hurt. The problem is that more often than not people cannot change, they can only addapt.
Alanis' beau understands this and loves her for what she is, well, in the song anyway. He loves her for the person that she is. He's not in love with her image, her body, her potential or any other singular feature that she posesses. He's in love with her, her as a whole. Every feature and aspect of the woman he finds besmitting even though she's not the most beautiful woman on earth or the smartest or the sexiest. To him, because it is her, she is all that and more. I suppose I'm talking about impartial love and unfortunately you only get that from pets! It is possible though for two people to reach something that is almost there and both sides will have to bend a bit here and there before they reach it but when they do, it is heaven. That is in my opinion what true love is.
It's not the flowers, the valentines or the chocolates or candles or moon-lit dinners, it's understanding and more importantly, acceptance. Understanding that both are equal and accepting the idea of each others individuality. All the rest are merely gestures. There are many paths a person can walk down in life, each is personal and seperate from anyone elses, but two paths can be parallel to each other but only if both sides want to walk together. I suppose the answer to that question is that it's me that I'm thinking of when i hear that song. It is me who wants to be singing it, though i would like my partner to be singing it with me.
I like the song because I relate to it, it more or less voices what i want in a relationship. I want my partner to love me for everything that i am, both good and bad. The way that Alanis describes herself in the song, that she can be this and that, she's an asshole and a baby, yet wise and kind, putting both the negative and positive on equal par yet at the end of it all she states that her beau loves her regardless of her flaws. No ones perfect, and if you go on looking for the perfect mate you'll just find yourself hurt. Alternatively, if you constantly try to change your partner to something else that is other from what he/she is again all you'll find is hurt. The problem is that more often than not people cannot change, they can only addapt.
Alanis' beau understands this and loves her for what she is, well, in the song anyway. He loves her for the person that she is. He's not in love with her image, her body, her potential or any other singular feature that she posesses. He's in love with her, her as a whole. Every feature and aspect of the woman he finds besmitting even though she's not the most beautiful woman on earth or the smartest or the sexiest. To him, because it is her, she is all that and more. I suppose I'm talking about impartial love and unfortunately you only get that from pets! It is possible though for two people to reach something that is almost there and both sides will have to bend a bit here and there before they reach it but when they do, it is heaven. That is in my opinion what true love is.
It's not the flowers, the valentines or the chocolates or candles or moon-lit dinners, it's understanding and more importantly, acceptance. Understanding that both are equal and accepting the idea of each others individuality. All the rest are merely gestures. There are many paths a person can walk down in life, each is personal and seperate from anyone elses, but two paths can be parallel to each other but only if both sides want to walk together. I suppose the answer to that question is that it's me that I'm thinking of when i hear that song. It is me who wants to be singing it, though i would like my partner to be singing it with me.
4 comments:
well said Proph... well said! *clap clap* *sniff*
Sweetheart, I have never revealed your identity. You could have still posted comments under "Anonymous", no one (except those two) will know.
Anyway, about understanding and acceptance, there are times when words alone are not enough. The whole process of being together with someone is more complicated than the words of a song. Yes, the basic concept is there. Accept and understand your partner.
But those two alone is not enough. You can't change a person. But if you being you is causing grief and hurt to the other person, you must choose either to change at your own free will to make this other person happy, or leave this person and find someone else who will understand the person that you are. You can't expect the person that is feeling hurt by your actions to not feel hurt anymore just by accepting and understanding. It's not that easy.
I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say. If you want to know more, I can explain later...
Rebil Devillete:
Thanks, it took me the better part of my evening/morning to write it! lol!
Anonymous:
1. I never revealed my identity, I'm stii just the Urban Prophet! ;-p
2. "The whole process of being together with someone is more complicated than the words of a song."
-Most things in life are uncomplicated and remain so, but people for some reason aren't satisfied with lifes simplicity and complicate things further. The concept of love is simple and unambiguous as there are only ever two asnwers, you are either in love, or not. There is no inbetween.
2."You can't change a person. ...you must choose... to change at your own free will"
-The point i was trying to make is that people never change, they can only adapt. Personality traits will remain fixed no matter what. The whole point of the courting phase of a relationship is to ascertain whether or not the two can get along. People will only change in instances of extreme high stress ( death of a parent etc.). The point I was trying to make is that you shouldn't go into a relationship with the hope of changing someone as it'll never work. If someones not religious enough or too religious, or likes/dislikes going out, likes manchester united over liverpool or whatever, if you go in hoping to change them, you'll only hurt them and yourself. If it quacks like a duck, looks like a duck then its a duck and no force on earth is going to turn it into a chicken. Women who get beaten up by their husbands fall into this trap, they think that their man will eventually change, but alas, that will never be.
I just read your comment and I just realised that we both agree on the SAME thing but we both have VERY different ways of expressing it.