I love the rain.
Since I was a kid, I've always gotten real excited every time it rained. I was the kind of kid who'd run right out into the thick of it to dance in the puddles, and laugh at the top of my lungs. The rainwater felt cool and refreshing, it gave me a real high just standing there. I suppose it was the whole excitement a rainstorm brings. We'd hear the thunder first, a deep rumbling sound, herald of the rain yet to come. Thunder this side of the world comes in deep load growls and roars; none of that timid rumbling you get to the west. Slowly but surely the Sun would begin to dim as the clouds gathered in a chaotic medley of white, greys, and black. Then the first pitter-patter of raindrops that would cause Mum to stop what ever she was doing to rush out and grab the laundry.
I'd run out to, smile on my face and try to help but usually I would just get in the way and be more of a nuisance but Mum wouldn't mind a bit. Then as she'd rush in trying not to drop anything, I'd stay outside to welcome the rain. First, it would slowly come dripping and drizzling in little drops the size of no more than that of a grain of sand. Then steadily it would build up drop-by-drop, drip-by-drip to a gushing torrent to the peals of thunder, God's orchestra.
How I loved every bit of it. A literal wall of water, so heavy it almost hurt to stand in it. I'd run around laughing myself silly with my dear old Mum yelling from the house to come in for I might just catch my death of a cold. Not that that bothered me. All I could think of was the electric energy of the storm brewing the earth to mud. Eventually though I'd listen to my Mum and run back in, a sorry, dripping wet little boy, hair in my eyes shivering from the cold. Mum would then scold me in her special way for not listening to her and staying out when I should have been in. Then she'd dry me up and dress me in new clothes and a hot cup of cocoa and let me snuggle up to her while we watched T.V. and she'd brush her little boys' hair back into shape.
Thinking about it deeply now, maybe it was not so much the rain I loved but the comfort after the storm. Memories may come but they will never go, it maybe that the memories the rain brings back to me takes me back to the safest place that I felt I could be. As I sit here all these years since, drinking my cocoa I suppose a little eight year old wants to dash out into the storm only to come back into the warmth. Or it could be that this is but a silly reminiscence of an over romantic soul.
Whatever it is, I still love the rain.
"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates
What is a life?
2,365,200,000 seconds, 82,125 square meals if you're lucky, hopefully 11 years of school, 4 years of university and 1 degree. A marriage, a child or two, a cat and/or a dog. 20 years worth of mortgage to pay off and maybe that long in student loans. A casket and some flowers and a lot of teary friends and relatives if you were well liked.
That more or less sums up a lifetime for some of us. Of course it could also mean half that many seconds and meals, no school at all and a bomb or two blowing up nearby which would be the case of most of us here.
The odds seemed stacked up against us but we always seem to persevere, to move forward. Kicking and screaming but forward never the less. We can find ourselves being at our most noble when faced with adversity. A man digs through the rubble of a bombed out shelter to save a child he doesn't even know. Yet we seem so adamant at killing each other over the most obscure and intangible reasons. Faith, Religion, Politics and Money. All are there to lead us out of this darkness but forever damning us to this eternal cycle of violence, hate and murder.
What is murder? When a man kills another man in cold blood; that is murder. A change of labels and soldier kills another soldier, man, woman or child, and that is just status quo. That is him just following orders.
What is the comedy though? What is there to laugh about? The thing is we are the comedy. We applaud ourselves for how good we are, how civilised, how charitable at our attempts to cease all suffering. The funny thing is, we are the cause of this suffering. Like a rabid dog, we maul ourselves on the pretense that we are doing good. We are doing the right thing. Terrorism is bad, it hurts people. So lets go blow up another country, rob them blind and make them pay for the mess we made ourselves; never mind the fact that they have no idea what you're talking about and chances are had nothing to do with the whole matter.
It seems to me that we just like watching other peoples' pain on the 6 o'clock news. The media's picked up on this a long time ago. If you're headlining story isn't a scandal, murder, a war or has a picture of some poor half-dead child from the other side of the planet; you're paper won't sell. We've used the most mundane of reasons to start war, everything from public opion to bananas. Anything, to get that octane high you get from watching another man's life ebb away.
I suppose i should end this by saying we all should just get along and be happy that we're here to share this magnificent gift called life. I don't think that that would achieve anything though, do you? What I'll do is end this with a question, how do you feel about your life? Has it been good to you? What do you think of your neighbours, do you want to kill them to?
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Morituri te salutant.......
2,365,200,000 seconds, 82,125 square meals if you're lucky, hopefully 11 years of school, 4 years of university and 1 degree. A marriage, a child or two, a cat and/or a dog. 20 years worth of mortgage to pay off and maybe that long in student loans. A casket and some flowers and a lot of teary friends and relatives if you were well liked.
That more or less sums up a lifetime for some of us. Of course it could also mean half that many seconds and meals, no school at all and a bomb or two blowing up nearby which would be the case of most of us here.
"Every second, 165 people die for any number of reasons, mostly to do with war, hunger or poverty."
The odds seemed stacked up against us but we always seem to persevere, to move forward. Kicking and screaming but forward never the less. We can find ourselves being at our most noble when faced with adversity. A man digs through the rubble of a bombed out shelter to save a child he doesn't even know. Yet we seem so adamant at killing each other over the most obscure and intangible reasons. Faith, Religion, Politics and Money. All are there to lead us out of this darkness but forever damning us to this eternal cycle of violence, hate and murder.
What is murder? When a man kills another man in cold blood; that is murder. A change of labels and soldier kills another soldier, man, woman or child, and that is just status quo. That is him just following orders.
What is the comedy though? What is there to laugh about? The thing is we are the comedy. We applaud ourselves for how good we are, how civilised, how charitable at our attempts to cease all suffering. The funny thing is, we are the cause of this suffering. Like a rabid dog, we maul ourselves on the pretense that we are doing good. We are doing the right thing. Terrorism is bad, it hurts people. So lets go blow up another country, rob them blind and make them pay for the mess we made ourselves; never mind the fact that they have no idea what you're talking about and chances are had nothing to do with the whole matter.
It seems to me that we just like watching other peoples' pain on the 6 o'clock news. The media's picked up on this a long time ago. If you're headlining story isn't a scandal, murder, a war or has a picture of some poor half-dead child from the other side of the planet; you're paper won't sell. We've used the most mundane of reasons to start war, everything from public opion to bananas. Anything, to get that octane high you get from watching another man's life ebb away.
I suppose i should end this by saying we all should just get along and be happy that we're here to share this magnificent gift called life. I don't think that that would achieve anything though, do you? What I'll do is end this with a question, how do you feel about your life? Has it been good to you? What do you think of your neighbours, do you want to kill them to?
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Morituri te salutant.......
Well, what the hell is it then?
People are so full of contradictions it's funny how we manage to get anything done at all. Seriously, think about all the things everyone has told you from the time you could say "mama" 'til now. Think long and hard and I'm sure you'll begin to see what I'm talking about. I suppose most of the time it's because people have to work with the information that they're given even though half the time that info is just plain faulty. I've been through many interviews, and always, always, been told plain nonsense. How many time have i heard from my prospective bosses that they have "comprehensive plan" that will make life easy for me, all I need to do is follow the plan. Well, after YOU'VE done the preliminary research, writen it, typed it out in font 12 double space, got it bound and made three copies. After that, you can follow it, simple as. What makes it even more sweet is that then they'd get upset because you haven't met the deadlines they've set for you.
Bosses are prone to contradiciton. One day they'll tell you that our ultimate goal is to increase awareness. The next day, screw awareness, we need the sales. First they say that they believe in flexi-time, then they say you've gotta be in the office by 9am. The whole idea of a business plan is to chart out your course of action with goal posts and deadlines in order to achive a preset target. Most bosses will agree on that, however in practice, most of them would change course willy-nilly then moan about not hitting targets. Well, If you've changed targets mid-way, how the hell are you suppose to hit them? Apart from that, they love saying things like "don't worry about making mistakes, it's all a learning process." Then, as soon as you fuck up; they'd be the first one screw you without giving you the dignity of a reach-over.
Parents are a great example of contradictions, for the first few years of your life they're asking, practically begging you to walk and to talk, then when you finally figure out how to string a sentence together and walk across the living room it's all shut up and sit down. In the same breath i have heard my dear old mum, bless her, tell me that i should learn how to be independent and think for myself then complain about i how i never listen to her and do what she tells me to. Now what, I ask you, is the appropriate reaction?
I used to date this girl when i was still in college all those years ago. When we first started seeing each other she'd tell me that she was open to any kind of food. tHis girl would eat anything, she said. Later i found out that "anything" did not include food that was meat based, deep-fired, grilled, baked, stir-fried, spicy, salty, bland, too sweet, cream-based, with tomatoes, or garlic, or onions, or carrot, or leafy veggies and finally absolutely no fast-food what so ever. also she didn't drink tea, coffee, canned drinks, most fruit juices or anything sweet. Weirdest thing was that she'd get angry at me for not taking her out to dinner enough. I'm sorry, but there are no restaurants in K.L. that serves gruel and water sweetheart. In a way, I'm glad she left me.
Anyway, back to why people keep contradicting themselves. My belief is, is that deep-down inside, people just don't know what they want. I mean, they think they know what they want but really they don't. I suppose it's a fact of life, 'cuz hey if everyone knew what they wanted then i suppose our economy would simply grind to halt. What need would there be to rush forward if you're already there? I suppose the pursuit of most peoples lives is that of finding what they're heart truly desires. Until they do, they'll simply keep contradicting themselves.
Wa-hey!
I went dancing last week-end. It was excellent, it'd been a long time since i last let lose and went all apeshit on the floor....
Hmm, would be at least 3 months since the last time. I told my girl this n she said that I'd go out quite frequently 'til the wee hours of the morning and this wasn't the first time... Well, the difference is that usually, I sit in a bar with a lot of alcohol around me or i play pool, or well, both... The difference this time though, is that i went dancing and not just sat around cheiwng the fat with my friends... Yes, I like to dance, i really enjoy out on the floor... And no, before you even ask, I'm not gay, my girlfriend would readily attest to that...
Anyway, it was a great night out. Me and my mates went to a club called Nuovo in Kuala Lumpur as there was a drum and bass event going on. Nice place, not that pricey but plush enough for me anyway... Better then the last club i visited, Dragon Bar which was quite grotty, dingy and had a strange smell... eeuch... Well i hit the floor about 11pm and got off about 3am... I did have short breaks in the middle as well, i'm not as young as i used to be... Now the funny thing is, I must be either a very good dancer or, i must have a style so strange that nobody knows what the hell i'm doing... I think it's the latter myself, the reason i say this though is that people kept coming onto the floor and shaking my hand... Dunno, gotta take my girl out one of these days and ask her... I'm sure she'd tell me i'm dancing like a beheaded turkey if i was...
Anyway, it's 2 days past the event and now my legs seem to have unravled somewhat... My left calf seem intent on punishing me for what i did to it last saturday... Boy oh boy does it hurt like a m***********r!!!! Arg! Well, what can i say, i had fun and now i'm just paying for it... But boy did i ever have fun!!!!
I went dancing last week-end. It was excellent, it'd been a long time since i last let lose and went all apeshit on the floor....
Hmm, would be at least 3 months since the last time. I told my girl this n she said that I'd go out quite frequently 'til the wee hours of the morning and this wasn't the first time... Well, the difference is that usually, I sit in a bar with a lot of alcohol around me or i play pool, or well, both... The difference this time though, is that i went dancing and not just sat around cheiwng the fat with my friends... Yes, I like to dance, i really enjoy out on the floor... And no, before you even ask, I'm not gay, my girlfriend would readily attest to that...
Anyway, it was a great night out. Me and my mates went to a club called Nuovo in Kuala Lumpur as there was a drum and bass event going on. Nice place, not that pricey but plush enough for me anyway... Better then the last club i visited, Dragon Bar which was quite grotty, dingy and had a strange smell... eeuch... Well i hit the floor about 11pm and got off about 3am... I did have short breaks in the middle as well, i'm not as young as i used to be... Now the funny thing is, I must be either a very good dancer or, i must have a style so strange that nobody knows what the hell i'm doing... I think it's the latter myself, the reason i say this though is that people kept coming onto the floor and shaking my hand... Dunno, gotta take my girl out one of these days and ask her... I'm sure she'd tell me i'm dancing like a beheaded turkey if i was...
Anyway, it's 2 days past the event and now my legs seem to have unravled somewhat... My left calf seem intent on punishing me for what i did to it last saturday... Boy oh boy does it hurt like a m***********r!!!! Arg! Well, what can i say, i had fun and now i'm just paying for it... But boy did i ever have fun!!!!
Well, it's been almost 2 weeks now that I've had my lap-top and it's fast become a facet of my life.... My mates make fun of me for carrying it around so often and they have every right to i suppose. The thing is though it's turning into something like a wrist watch. I know some people don't wear watches so might find this hard to relate to, but if i were to leave the house without my wathc on i feel naked. I feel like I'm walking around with no trousers on and my lap-top for whatever reason it is has become that integral.
I sit around in coffee shops surfing the net, do my writing, do some work... Hell, the other day i was in a park and i was bashing away on my keyboard typing out my work-load for the day. When i get home it turns into my home entertainment system, a cd-player-cum-DVD-player-cum-everything.
Before i bought it i was perfectly ok without one. Never thought i needed one. But now, i t feels so apart of me, that, i dunno, i feel like i need psychological help. Maybe I need to find more friends or something...
I'm sure this is a symptom of something, something terribly wrong with either me or society or something. I'm like an addict and feel like I'm getting withdrawal symptoms when i'm not around technology. Maybe i'm an over-grown boy with a new toy, it could be as simple as that. Or maybe... Just maybe... I gotta find a life.
I sit around in coffee shops surfing the net, do my writing, do some work... Hell, the other day i was in a park and i was bashing away on my keyboard typing out my work-load for the day. When i get home it turns into my home entertainment system, a cd-player-cum-DVD-player-cum-everything.
Before i bought it i was perfectly ok without one. Never thought i needed one. But now, i t feels so apart of me, that, i dunno, i feel like i need psychological help. Maybe I need to find more friends or something...
I'm sure this is a symptom of something, something terribly wrong with either me or society or something. I'm like an addict and feel like I'm getting withdrawal symptoms when i'm not around technology. Maybe i'm an over-grown boy with a new toy, it could be as simple as that. Or maybe... Just maybe... I gotta find a life.
I had an interesting day today...
My space alien friends are really aiming high with their cure-all wonder cd's... I spent the first half of today preparing a briefing and setting up new marketing tools (paper, paper,and yet more paper) then the second half i spent giving presentations....
Before i go on let me just explain the gist of the product that i'm marketing. Ofr obvious reasons I won't name names so lets me just call him Dr. X.
Dr. X came up with a what i consider a wonderful marketing gimmick tht supposedly re-writes your sub-concious in order to make you a better you. Imagine, being able to remove all those negative counter-productive thoughts like "I'll never quit smoking, I've been smoking for so long." or "God almighty, I suck, even my first grade teacher said i sucked 20 yrs ago". With them gone and replaced with such affirmations as "I am good" or "I am smart" etc etc... He does this using a "patented", notice the open inverted commas, technology that turns these affirmations subliminal so as to by-pass your conscious mind into your sub-conscious, all on a little cd that has synthesized midi tracks and nature sounds.. Wonderful idea, fill your head up with positive ideas to make you a better you, that is if it works...
Anyway, going back to my day...
I spent half the afternoon training telemarketers for our workshop ticket sales... Interesting, 'specially since i only had 2 hr's to teach them everything... However interesting it was though, it didn't beat the last part of my day...
My boss had arranged for me to give a presentation to the second in command of the New Leaders Foundation.... To anyone else out there this may not seem so interesting but wait, it gets better...
You see, the foundation is headed by none other then the former Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dr Tun Mahathir Mohammad... His second in command at the foundation was his scientific advisor when he was still Prime Minister... The signifigance of this is that the fellow was impressed and has hinted that we might need to give another presentation to the former PM himself!!!
What I find weird is that, here i am, marketing a product i seriously don't believe in, I think it's nonsense, and it just might make me meet Mahathir... How am I going to convince the guy it works if i don't believe in it? Hell, should i even attempt to convince the guy it works in the first place?
Sometimes, life throws you a curve ball so weird it's doing cork-screws in the air while reciting Romeo & Juliet... I find so many ethical paradoxes in what i have to do... These people are nice people, a little bit misguided, but nice all the same... Should i carry on doing what i consider to be a fallacy or should i attempt to open my mind a little... Hell, for all i know the damn thing works... Maybe i should try that "Freedom from Smoking" Cd after all... If i quit, then i know that there might just be something to all this... If i don't.... Dunno.... I feel like I've walked into some weird movie or something...
My space alien friends are really aiming high with their cure-all wonder cd's... I spent the first half of today preparing a briefing and setting up new marketing tools (paper, paper,and yet more paper) then the second half i spent giving presentations....
Before i go on let me just explain the gist of the product that i'm marketing. Ofr obvious reasons I won't name names so lets me just call him Dr. X.
Dr. X came up with a what i consider a wonderful marketing gimmick tht supposedly re-writes your sub-concious in order to make you a better you. Imagine, being able to remove all those negative counter-productive thoughts like "I'll never quit smoking, I've been smoking for so long." or "God almighty, I suck, even my first grade teacher said i sucked 20 yrs ago". With them gone and replaced with such affirmations as "I am good" or "I am smart" etc etc... He does this using a "patented", notice the open inverted commas, technology that turns these affirmations subliminal so as to by-pass your conscious mind into your sub-conscious, all on a little cd that has synthesized midi tracks and nature sounds.. Wonderful idea, fill your head up with positive ideas to make you a better you, that is if it works...
Anyway, going back to my day...
I spent half the afternoon training telemarketers for our workshop ticket sales... Interesting, 'specially since i only had 2 hr's to teach them everything... However interesting it was though, it didn't beat the last part of my day...
My boss had arranged for me to give a presentation to the second in command of the New Leaders Foundation.... To anyone else out there this may not seem so interesting but wait, it gets better...
You see, the foundation is headed by none other then the former Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dr Tun Mahathir Mohammad... His second in command at the foundation was his scientific advisor when he was still Prime Minister... The signifigance of this is that the fellow was impressed and has hinted that we might need to give another presentation to the former PM himself!!!
What I find weird is that, here i am, marketing a product i seriously don't believe in, I think it's nonsense, and it just might make me meet Mahathir... How am I going to convince the guy it works if i don't believe in it? Hell, should i even attempt to convince the guy it works in the first place?
Sometimes, life throws you a curve ball so weird it's doing cork-screws in the air while reciting Romeo & Juliet... I find so many ethical paradoxes in what i have to do... These people are nice people, a little bit misguided, but nice all the same... Should i carry on doing what i consider to be a fallacy or should i attempt to open my mind a little... Hell, for all i know the damn thing works... Maybe i should try that "Freedom from Smoking" Cd after all... If i quit, then i know that there might just be something to all this... If i don't.... Dunno.... I feel like I've walked into some weird movie or something...
Good Morning True-Believers!
Man, 1 month i neglect my blog and so much has happened.
Well to give you the shopping list run-down so far in the past month I have:
1. Been made redundant: Yes those crappy people from my crappy job closed up my project and sent me packing.... Oh woe, how sad i am ....
2. Been Employed: As if to complete the overall theme of my life, weirdo's from Mars have asked me to work for them... Since I am free and these Martians pay good money, i decided to do a 2 month project with them marketing their workshop. These people apparently have a patented method to brainwash small children,adults and old people alike to make them happier more productive members of society...... O...K... Well, I'll delve more deeply into that in my next update.
3. Started writing my book... again...
4. Had my Car Broken into: This is what happens when "oh i'll only be a minute." Really fuck's you over. Interesting story though i had two lap-tops in the back of my car, one was mine, the other my boss's. Back window gets smashed, asshole grabs lap-top and gym bag and gets away scot free... The best bit was that it wasn't my lap-top that got nicked, it was my boss's. The result of this experiment shows two things:
a. Out of the two, I'm the luckier one compared to my boss.
b. At times, I can be a real idiot.
5. Frogs fell from the sky: Well not really but i thought if something like this was to ever happen i'd like to report it in my blog. Consider this a pre-emptive report.
Well, I gotta go to work... As it is i'm pretty late already, but the martians don't mind... But seeing that i just lost their lap-top with their battle plans for a complete Earth Invasion, i just may not have to worry about being late tomorrow if you know what i mean... We'll see how thisngs go, so until then... Live long and Prosper and Nano-nano....
Man, 1 month i neglect my blog and so much has happened.
Well to give you the shopping list run-down so far in the past month I have:
1. Been made redundant: Yes those crappy people from my crappy job closed up my project and sent me packing.... Oh woe, how sad i am ....
2. Been Employed: As if to complete the overall theme of my life, weirdo's from Mars have asked me to work for them... Since I am free and these Martians pay good money, i decided to do a 2 month project with them marketing their workshop. These people apparently have a patented method to brainwash small children,adults and old people alike to make them happier more productive members of society...... O...K... Well, I'll delve more deeply into that in my next update.
3. Started writing my book... again...
4. Had my Car Broken into: This is what happens when "oh i'll only be a minute." Really fuck's you over. Interesting story though i had two lap-tops in the back of my car, one was mine, the other my boss's. Back window gets smashed, asshole grabs lap-top and gym bag and gets away scot free... The best bit was that it wasn't my lap-top that got nicked, it was my boss's. The result of this experiment shows two things:
a. Out of the two, I'm the luckier one compared to my boss.
b. At times, I can be a real idiot.
5. Frogs fell from the sky: Well not really but i thought if something like this was to ever happen i'd like to report it in my blog. Consider this a pre-emptive report.
Well, I gotta go to work... As it is i'm pretty late already, but the martians don't mind... But seeing that i just lost their lap-top with their battle plans for a complete Earth Invasion, i just may not have to worry about being late tomorrow if you know what i mean... We'll see how thisngs go, so until then... Live long and Prosper and Nano-nano....
